THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 312, 26 September 1908, Page 7

THE CHANGING SCENE

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. (Br M.C.K.) Tho explanation by Mr. Barclay, M.P., that, when ho voted for tho clause prescribing uniformity in school booki, ho did so under tho impression that ho was voting for a proposal that school books should bo free, has been hailed with great satisfaction by many members. It is widely felt that Mr. Barclay has conferred a . boon upon Parliament by devising'so simple a means of explaining tilings away. Inquiries that have been, made go .to show that-tho Hon. R,. A. Loughnan- supported the '" gag " clauso in the. Second Ballot Bill under tho mistaken impression .that ho was seconding a vote of thanks >to Julius Caesar. . Mr. Fowlds explains that when a few years ago 'he condemned second ballots, he thought the motion was ono. for - giving everybody two votes.. Tho members who, elected to support the' freehold, voted for the. leasehold,- said they did so because thoy considered that the proposal before the House was to increase tho salaries of members. In tho forthcoming: election campaign, it is understood, more will be heard about the bad'type in which; motions are printed, and the muffled voice in which the Speaker puts, tho question, than about anything else. Several ing learned'that "the defective acoustic pro-, p.erties" of the House have nothing to do with the' drains,; are inquiring' eagerly, for. books on acoustics to assist them in. convincing'tho electors. " Acoustics" is'a hard word, arid ail interesting fact- bearing on'tlio .new enthusiasm amongst members is reported. TII6 member for •——-iwas, heard to observe yesterday: "I read it up, : but-I'm blest if I could understand it, and it 'ad nothing in it that would 'elp me." "You must have got htold. of the wrong book,"'.said Mr./ Barclay.. No,"'was the reply, " I don't, think so., •Didn't yo.u'say 'An Agnostic's Apology'?"

ELECTION NOTE; , ' : " Such an expenditure," says a local jour-, nal of the sudden enthusiasm of the Government for • road-making, ■" is ' likely' to bo re-! productive in the fullest sense of tho : word." At a meeting of tho Otago Trades and Labour Council on Thursday night, tho follow-' ing resolution was carried:—"That in the opinion of this council the Hon. J. A. Millar has, by his action in connection with the Arbitration Bill, forfeited his right to bo classed as a representative of Labour, and the council invites him to proclaim'himself what he has proved to be —the champion of tho capitalistic class." " I Jack Millar, this is sad to hear: v That you, so straight for many a year', Should, in the height of your career, ' Have "put your blessed pot on"; That all tho time, beneath the hat Of you,-, a seeming Democrat,', There lurked, a sympathy with Fat— ' \ A brain completely rotten. The Labour Council says,-"A. man £ Who works on any other plan Than getting Labour all'he c'aii,, Moke who aims at..' justice, And uses his portifolio u ; To give both, sides qri, equal show, , Vile Mammon's slave, a--creature \low, A traitor to his trust is." ' Since, Jack, you deemed a Minister ' Should:'aim at acting , on the square, It's obvious that your only care " Is now-to'crawl to Mammon. To study every point of view Is treason to the Labour crew: It's little Labour owes to you— Your talk has all been gammon; In-short, sir, Mud your name is now;... Yet I have heard men tell mo how, During the 1890 row, The man, who held the tiller Arid held it, firm and steered his freight Of desperate purposo pretty straight, .• Moved by a fairness out-of-date, Was, if I err not, Millar. Well, woll, J;A., these loud-mouthed men (Their names were not'on record then), . , Whose work is done with tongue and pen,' . Soft-hoaded and soft-handed, May call you traitor, cry "Confess!"— .But that need cause jou.no distress: The public knows that ASS * Upon their brows is branded. 'Amongst the orders issued to-the children' who.aro to wave their flag l ! to-day was this: "(e) 'Applause')— Either before or after speeches, tho pupils will by holding tho flags overhead, and waving them. Tho occasion and ,duration of this is to bo left to tho discretion and examplo of Mr. .Foster." It is to bo hoped that Mr. Foster realises-tho gravity of his position. He is hampered, you .will see at once, by the failure of tho Commandant—or the Flag Expert, or the Prime Minister, or whoever is 1 responsible for the order—to-provide for groans. And it really. appears subversive' of school discipline that, no opportunity , should .bo given to Mr. Foster!to encourage tho children to groan lustily at the bad. grammar, tho clichcs, the chovilles, the disorderedsyntax, tho aposieoposes and +ho tautology to which the oraipr invariably resorts when he is required to make a loyal speech or a speech in praise of this splendid country: Let there,'■ then, be some provision for groans. Mr. Foster's' position is really far from enviable. If he is to bo conscientious as well as discreet, it is probable that the flags will remain deadly still.' Quite as difficult a task as the selection of the occasion "of this" is tho settlement of the • "duration" of it. Wo really cannot', expect Mr. Foster to conduct tho flags as a composer conducts ari orchestra, and produce a sonata built up of, flicker and flutter, wiggle and flirt-,, wagglo and dip and-wave. We cannot expect Mr. Foster to, decide whether "glori-ous-heritage" is worth more or icss applause than "the happiness, the prosperity, and tho greatness of the nation." The best tiling' that-Mr. Foster can do,-since it is assumed in this cold-blooded preparation for delight that tho speeches will earn applause, is,' to let his discretion run in the direction of a continuous flapping. "What's, all,this about th' gag?" asked Mr. Honncssy.. ■ ■ • "So far as I ondhcrstan' th' Attorney-Giu-ral, Jawn," said Mr. Dooley, "'tis an invintion t' lock th'. whoels iv motor cars f'r th' protection iv th' poor man who has t' carry his swag. No, iv coorso yo don't seo how it does it, iv coorso yo don't. I don't, an' th' Attorney-Gin-ral don't, but if yo shut yer'o eyes all' think liberally, as Joe Chamberlain says, ye might. 'Why,' says mo frind Joe, 'why shud wo liaro th' air. polluted bo th' shouts iv caudydatos? It is conthrairy,' says 110, 'tj th' gr-reat principles iv Lib'ralism t' let th' pa-apers talk, f'r they might,' says lie, 'attack th' Guv'mint, f'r I'vo not got thim all squared, 1 lie ; says. Th' Attorney-Gin'ral's right. Ho w'll2 told a turr'blo talo bo a Liblab whoso wife chars at a newspaper office. As slio wearily heaped into eight largo sacks th' parrts iv Mr. Ell's ;

speech that th' sub-editor threrv out, sho found th' draf' iv a notice tint t' bo printod m th' pa-aper. 'Tenders, 1 it says, 'tenders are invited f'r favourable leaders, an' assorted lies. Candidates arc requisted t' apply early. Th' highest tender accepted. Best quality guaranteed. Sftiiples cin b» soeu at th' office.' Well, Ja-iru, yolmust stop that, ye knoiv. An' theii yo stop th' motor ears which, as is notoryous, is employed be rich candidates t' run 'over every wan that looks Jiko a Liblal. An? as t'. meetin's, meetin's is conthrairy t' Lib'ralism. Meetin's encourago thought, 'ap',' says th' Attorney-Gin'ral, 'whero's Lib-ralism if ye havo thought!" ho says. 'Air. there's too much thought already. Already,' jhe says, 'we've gone too far. Onless wc tako a stall',' says lie, 'th' public will, get th' hijeous an' ruinous idea that they can elec' annywan thoy, like. Onless wo ordhersout th' military,' says ho\ 'it'll come t' this, that a Lib'ral may bo -licked.' Ye might tliink that th', best thing ;is t' have an open scrap, but 'tis notoryous; that ye can't, voto right onless ye have dead silence f'r .a week' an' go'about in yero stookiu'.fset 311' ho]', yoro breath." . . ! . "I don't believe in it," said .Mr. Hen., nessy. ,"I do," said Mr. Dooley. "Th' throublo 'with you,. Jawn, is that yo think: pollytics. wuz invinted f'r th' public. 'Twuz. not. 'Twuz invinted f'r pollyticians, an' ye'jought t' be thanklul. t' havo th'. chanst iv l; yotin' an' keepin' th'- Lib'ral. candydates fr'm breakin' in afther yero Spoons."