THE CULT OF THE HATLESS

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 76, 23 December 1907, Page 6

THE CULT OF THE HATLESS

K VOGUE IN .WELLINGTON.

A SCIENTIFIC PROGNOSTICATION, ■:>■"''

Should we wear bats? Go to church,'to the theatre, a public .meeting, or'even Par-' liament, and carefully contemplate the number of bald or i partially-bald heads; not necessarily on old men, but those,- under middle age; and in some instances on quite young men or those that consider themselves still in the hey-day of youthful manhood. Tho'front row.of the stalls at tho theatre has often, been referred to as a likely place to find baldheads—we do not profess to know why—for looking down from tho dress circle so many hairless top-pieces may be seen that it would bo invidious to single out those in tho front row, particularly on the eve of a season of musical comedy. After quietly noting the disquieting number of hairless polls, pick up any. magazine, and' absorb, without smiling_ the fearful and wonderful array of advertisements" announcing the, indisputable virtues of alleged hair-restorers; listen to the bald-headed barber descanting on the unfailing properties of his very own mixture, and asking the hairless customer to give it a trial; and the reader will grant that there is one certain prospect before the race. On tho progress that baldness has made, and which has been carefully observed by scientists, it.is believed that throe hundred years hence the male infant's head will bo covered with fine* hair at ten years of age, but thereafter it will disappear from the top, leaving only a fringe about tho level of the cars, which will disappear gradually ■about middle age. Five hundred years into the future tho eighteen-year-old youth will titivate his fringe of hair before making advances on his lady he can only contemplate complete baldness. ia similarly contemplated that in seven hundred and fifty years'the thatch of hair wo are now adorned with will bo merely a memory in natural history! Tho poet of the day will have to sing of tho gleam of tho sun on brunette poll instead of sunbeams on the ravon looks,' and phrenological casts of criminals will supplant the; finger-print records. •„ And to think that all this is to bo brought about by the hat Yet it is feasible. None of us, so far as the writer is aware, has been boniwith a hat; indeed, man is tho only animal) that does not continue to exist in a state ■ of nature; so we, by affecting the close-fitting Derby, the bell-topper, the '.' nobby " felt (in . divers shapes), are dispensing with our natural headgear to adopt an artificial, and old Nature, seeing that we decline to use what slio has provided, is taking it away, as she took away the power of flight from the moa, the kiwi, and the kea. •. Tho writer's scientific notes on this interesting subject must havo been seen by someone interested, for quite recently a cult lias developed in Wellington firmly resolved to stop the hair-rot by discarding the hat, so that the warmth of tho sun and the breefces of heaven may have free and frank acquaintance with tho hair and scalp. Some readers might havo noticed hatless young mou about the streets in business' hours; they are frequently seen starting out for the day on tho Sabbath without anything hi the form of headgear. Theso persons would havo been regarded as "Btrange" a few years ago, if ,not with suspicion; now, however, it is a cult—considered quite tho thing—aud is thought to bo a great deal moro efficacious than all the hair-restorers over mentioned and testified to (at a prico) by people' with hair in abundance. Hatless people used to bo pointed put as ex-Bluecoat Schoolboys ; inow thoy aro young men with a mission—they aro topreservc tho hirsuto thatch of tho race for all tiino. Tho latest converts to the cult aro tho tramways motor-mon. The City Corporation, has provided them with close-fitting peaked hats, hot enough in this. weather to " baldify " a nation,' but, having to bo so frequently in touch with tho ladies,, they havo decidod to have nono of it —hence tho hatless motorman.