The Changing Scene.

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 3, 28 September 1907, Page 7

The Changing Scene.

A BIRD'S EYE VIEW. ('-.-'.' ' (Br a Casual Chboniclek.) !. ." No,. I don't feel: any diff'rence, ' Jawn," said Mr. Dobloy, "an* I don't ; expect to. Think, as th' pote Bracken '. says, 'think, in this batthered caravahseray, whoso porrtals are alternate -night an' day," says he, 'how Sultan after Sultan with his Tpomp,' says' ho, 'abode, his destined hour, and wint,'. says he," 'liis way,' he says. I've been thinkin' it, an ■though th' Dominion's ' a>fac', an' blown in th' bottle, as th' ad.:, puts it, yet I- don't think it'll . throw me out of wurrk." "Thin ye'll still tell mo things?" gaid Mr. Hehnessy. i "Ye've.aloi :t' listen to yet, Jawn. Th' wurrd's too ret in its ways t' marrk.'th' advint iv tho now dignity be givin' up what Hogan calls th' idhiosyucrazies that havo endeared it f me. I luk with total confidence t' . a continuarico iv the lighter side iv . heavy men, an' a persistence in that sayriousness that makes th' cable news a. continuous, biography iv mo frind Teddy Roosevelt, Nich'las Rom'noff, Kaiser Bill, Tom Bent, an' th' numerous V young • malm that . shoots his : sweetheart in. the brain-storrm. Our ' own home-grown-ehthertainers arro too'sayrious t' Btop boin' funny. The Thrades an' Labour Council is not goin', t' give up .its nightly' sthruggle with syntax in its vigilant zale t' fire a res'lutioii. at th' villain; iv th' day or th' latest affront t' th' son ir toil. Th' leagues will meet as usual an' dhrink tea, th' more darin' iv our local preachers will proph'sy more roon than iter now that thero's a bigger reputation t' be put through th'-roohin' machine. Th' mimber f'r Lone Dog Gully will sthrain ivery muscle t' : increase his humorousnoss in kapin' with th' rise-in prestige. An'-th' ba-akcr'will not fail t' assure us that he's goin' bankrup on bread at sevehpence a loaf. Th' outlook, Jawn,' does not nlatrm mo. Wisdom, th' wisdom that -will lavo yero old frind Dooloy on th : pavement, is not goin' ' 't' . settle ddwrf hi anny . univerrsal fashion. _. Man, Jawn, will still be human." "I'm sorry, Dooley," said Mr, Honnessy. '•' "I thought th' noW'.as'ra.wud purrgo:man iv lovity an'. repress "th' tindehcy. iv th' human mind t' break out,"-,-'.'"'"• '■ '' "It takes morro thin: a proclymationt' 'do ut. In most cases it, takes an undhertaker." '-. . . ■'■•.

•'■ A Lyttelton 'Times articlo on tho Lyttelton Gaol library shows that thb prisoners, are by no 'means badly off for reading matter. After fiction ,his- '.- Tory .is.the favorite'subjectiihen como the -popular, magazines, then • several :well-known religious works, .then .soientific works, and,'finally, poetry. 'Fiction is an easy first. : Thero is. a greater demand for Nat Gould's racking, storips thanfor,any other class of fiction. Conan Dpylo, Kipling, Marie : Corelli, and other authors aro sought . after, .but' not to the' same extent as t Nat' Gould. Darwinand Spencer aro ...represented, in ,tbo scientific department, but' they .are 'not read very .. much—News Item;-

In the'cnish:-of!'the-novels,-theciam- '.'■' :■ . 'pur' '■' . , : .' ' ", '"-•.'■ Of Boothbys, Corellis, and Caines;. Who shake off the'fetters of grammar Andi scorn -all syntactical chains, •I have dived for the best in the waste " ;•■' of ■■: The publisher's bottomless bag, But relief comes at last through'the , taste of ■••:■■ . - ' The ''littery", lag/ :

He's the best of all possible winnows— : 'No prejudice, bias and*suchHe sorts out the Tritons and minnows, With staggering sureriess of touch. Beviewers and : readers' are flustered, Their minds are-solidified doubt, But-the'lag has the novelists mustered And- sor,ts them- all out.-. *

By Spencer or Darwin or Bacon , No innocent burglar is fooled ; Ht' bestows the victorious 'cake .on The fathomless drivel of Gould; Boz's prose and the verses of Shelley Lie cold on the shelves, and grow dank, iWhile to Kipling "and-Doyle and Cor- • . elli. .-■'. "■• . ■ .'. . " He gives the front.rank.

: No. more need your intellect suffer What popular novelists write, tWhj lo the . gaol yields an excellent '- '• " '•■ buffer— ,-; The broad-arrqw book plebiscite. '■'■. For Sikes is the fellow to spot 'em, 5y He'd say that the. schome's "a fair /■■•.•' cop"— -■■'!..•■ ■"'■ : »S4Jjrections: —Begin at the bottom— Gould is on top. . A. word of warning is due upon the modern newspaper habit of gripping a subject by the throat in the first sentence.' A local journal a few days ago.dealt editorially with the Navy League, and plunged with disconcerting abruptness into the sea-power problem, -as the following sentences ■bow: , ''The Navy League meeting at tho ' Town Hall'yesterday afternoon was one of those agreeable functions which ' it is so ploasant to attend and which the citizens of Wellington know so .well, how to organise and carry out. hall was a triumph of decorative . display. Camellias and daffodils were there galore, : and the platform and floor space in front .of the platform were converted. for the npneo into living parterres of yet fairer, flowers. In one corner was an apparatus of tea cups and cako, which hinted certain material comforts to follow at a : later Stage of the proceedings."' If.journalists are going to "rush" things in this .fashion, what safeguard is there against the habit being pushed to some such extreme as this: THE DEFEAT OF THE GOVERN- ' . MENT. . Yesterday the weather was fine, but a light northerly was blowing. The prospect for the harvest, according to the weather bulletin, .was still very '■ good, and farmers therefore should ' onjoy a fortunate season. Although ; the weatber was so pleasant, there were few peoplo in the galleries — not an 'unusual circumstance—when Parliament met at 2.30 p.m. The house made ■a pleasing spectacle, and one felt that % this was really Parliament when one saw tho Speaker in his chair, and — Or, in dashing polemical vein: MR. MASSEY'S FALLACIES. ". Mr. Masey opened his campaign at Onchunga last night. Onehunga, as our'readers aro aware, is in tho vicinity of Auckland. . . this thriving seaport. Mr. Massey arrived at t'uo nicelv-decorated town hall at 8 p.m., an dtho chairman . . . Abruptness can easily becomd quinn vice.

'A contemporary tho other day reported that the Bishop of Wellington was seen wearing a ring that used to belong to one Varro, now deceased for some time—2ooo years or thereabout—and added that the bishop, did not oxplain how it: came into his possession. Surely it ib time to curb the suspicions of a reckless press. THE TIRED COLONIAL. "There is a probability," ran a ibid mossago received on Dominioii Day, "of an attempt boing mado to motor across Australia from Adelaide to Port Darwin." The sub:tor thought a mbmont. Then i .'■rote tho heading: "More Waste of Energy." A lecturer in a local hall on Wed-ns-.lay "severely condemned tightlacing."' Nothing, it would appear, is too novel to daunt the modicrn lecturer. There is excitement in Socialistic and Labour circles over a grove '.charge brought by Comrade Fitzgerald against certain Labour leaders—excitement and denials, and an uneasy feeling that "visions is about.! 1 -\ Tho charge . was that Messrs; W. H. Westbrook, W. T: Young and M. J. Reardon had accepted invitations /to Lady Ward's "At Honio." Tho only relief of the gloom inspired by Comrado Fitzgerald's gruesome revelation appears to have been' tho • statement that air. David McLaren did not go, and that "Bill Ford and Jack McCul lough would have' refused to go." The accused,, it is understood, di not go to. the party,'.their, : .reason being simplo private reasons, like those of- others. But even this doet not end the-matter, for listen:

Which I, an ornery wuckin' bloke. Can't see the point of this blooniih joke, I'd sooner aomobody' went and cracked , The'skull Arbitration Act Than ''avo'our blokes on the 'ateful list ' . . . ~'■.-. 0' guests with the top-'at capitalist. Wot's the use of a minimum wago Wen blight 'as fell on this 'opeless age? .' r■ ' : V Dave M'Laren may talk—Vs brave — But vain an' bust is the work of Davo Wen , Reardon, Young an' Westbrookb goes :' In tile an' iloggcr to toney shows? Wot did our William Henry say' To the ' gilded-crowd w'en 'o went astray? And. William Thomas and Michael .John — W r ot i was the topics they talked r upon?' , _ I learnt a motter whoil just a child: 'Oo plays with pitch, 'o is suro defiled. 7 '

Would Jack McOullough and good

, Bill Ford ;. (No disrespection to Lady Ward), Impair their voices with jigh-born chat,' • ■■■■ '' '. , ' Or spoil their views with a shiny 'at? .■■.''." I 'ope there's a chanst o' safety still In.the incorruptible Jack' and Bill. But me 'cart sez diff'rent. 'Oo's ter ■;■' ■' know '■' • : '--"'' ! ".-' :l ."''" l: "'.'' : ''. Were the Cause will end' w'en pur . leaders "go '.' ; ' '■ '"" ' : .Were tho Siring lures of an invite - call. . An' empty the Trades an' Council ''• 'Aii? ■'■'■ ".,■. ] ,"■'.' .::;;■; Wot boots awards, an' the minimum wage , . Wen blight 'as fell on this 'opeless ago? Wot! 11 They didn't go? Wy, Wy, ' I prays? . .:.'■• A ( prior engagement!! Well' spare v me dayst Great snakes! Wen I thought they'd look fer ,fight, They've been weak 'umans,' just plain polite' If they 'ad 'avo gone, it 'ud been a .curso But this 'uman weakness is ten times worse. • . ,

0. M'Leod, the 'cricketer, who is on a \ visit to Sydney, interviewed on the question of big cricket, states' that -his complaint against it was due to there being s too much selfishness and'not enough playing together as a team. When in England'it was aparent that many of the players on the Australian side looked mainly to their individual success rather than to the success •of the side. It was all self, and not ..the sido, nowadays—Gable item.

"And he .is quite' right,'', said Angelina," who had just reached voting ago, and was accordingly a fervont young politician of socialist views. " I'm sure hq's a nice man." > "Guess lie's thinking of his own average," said George, whose tastes are deducible from one fact that, on being asked if ho read "Hansard," replied that "Wisden' ! was better and moro reliable. '

"If they would only realise the happiness of individual sacrifice for the common good," said Angelina, "they would play much bettor. Equaljty— that should .rule cricket." "Hang it all," said George, rudely, "do you want 'em - all to make tho same score, all of 'em to make blobs?" ' . / "Yes, even if they all made bobs," she said. "I would 'make tho men bear numbers instoad of names, and then tho horrid selfishness would disappear. Yes, I would, and score liko this: No. 1. run out, 26 runs; No. 2, no-balled No. 12, caught No. 13, 26 runs; No. 3, stumped No. 5, caught No. 20, 26 runs; and so on. And the bowling averages liko this: No. 1, 2 overs, 5 maidgns, 13 wickets, i rims, and so forth. You are laughing, you horrid George."

"Well, it's all right, I suppose," said George. "Only, there are a few what do you call 'om, anachronisms in your figures."

"What aro anachronisms to \ socialist like Mr. McLeod?" sho asked indignantly. > ■

"Socialist?" ho grumbled, "Huh, sounds like a has-been'."

Occasion is here taken to protect the young life of the Dominion by stating that it'is not ono of tho 58 newspapers which aro giving up business owing to the unexpected and unpleasant discovery that the mombor for Wairarapa "don't enro a twopenny-ha'-penny" what tho t'ress of the colony say about him. 2Jd. is something. We intend to struggle along until he drops to lid.

" I shall have the honour of bning ?h<! nnlv ißemlif.' to carry-an ameiitl•.'ifiii: iii the Land ni'd likmiiiii A■;f.r.';K,'i.iili flijl. i eA 111." V'.i:.!..i3fMlhi-' bUuek out."—-Ur. Wili'.rd.