The Installation of Brother Wales.

Cromwell Argus, Volume VI, Issue 304, 8 September 1875, Page 7

The Installation of Brother Wales.

(By the Own, Mason of the Birmingham Town Crier.) London, We-lnesday night. Banquet just over. Shplendid. Brother Wales jush gone home. Mrs Wales shtopping up for him elshhe wouldn't bin in such hurry. Gloriush day. Never tasted sush rich turtle 'nail my life. Champagne shplendid. Never shaw anything sho impressive as the installation and sherrymony, and never tasted such nish port, only couldn't hardly get a drop. Gloriush banquet, but shcarsely got a : mouthful t'eat, and not drop t'drink. Wa'er, wa'er every-where, not drop't'drink. Have been nearly famished, and now I'm pasht grand, I mean pasht eating. Only had two plates oys'ers, three very little bitshs o' turtle, two very shmall plates shamon and whitebait, shmelt a bit a shweetbread, and jush looked at an oys'er patty, had jush an ounce a lamb, a bit of beef, and a duckling ; and no shweets 'cept cabinet puddin, ap-cot tart, ounce o' jelly, and shome ice puddn wish never counts. Still it was shplendid. Brother Wales never looked better or bigger, in my est'mashun. •' Shend him vicVious, happy and gloriush, grand master over ush, 'Od bless Prince Wales. '* What we want is move masonic banquets. Mashonry's very dry work ash a rule. There's a deal too mush dreshing up at lodge, and not 'nuff to eat and drink. Want more inshtallations. More Prince o' Wales's. More banquets like that to-night. Quite thought Brother Albert Edward would have come round, and given ush all the brotherly grip. Ought to have shtept round and shook hands with ish new relations. Feel I'm one of the royal family now. Shall have royal arms put on my card. Don't feel eggshactly the thing, somehow. Getting nothing to eat, I suppose. Bad thing to go to a banquet and have nothing to eat. Elsh it wash that shamon. Bett'r go bed, i think. B'leeve I've been sipping at the ink pot, and thinking it wash claret. Think I'd better take shome blofcfcpaper and go shtraight to bed. Hope I haven't told anybody the Masonic secret. Fanshy I have. 'Od blesh Prinsh Wales all the same. Never go to banquet without having something t'eat. Bad thing. Can't write any mo.

The Cares of Business.~lt is reported that a man went home at about 3 o'clock a. m., and using his umbrella for a billiard cue, smote his sleeping wife with it, crying, " Pool! " and sank into sluml >er. He has since explained to his wife that women can have no idei how the cares of business will sometimes affact a man's brain. India rubber side-walks are coming into fashion out Wist. For small towns they are admirable —combining economy and durability. The first experiment was made in Danville, lowa, where three hundred yards were put 'own on one of the principal streets. All the boys of the place ran over it, but there was no noise. A leading merelnnt stopped in front of his house ; then jumped on his heels. The elastic forces hidden in the rubber threw him over the gate to the roof of tho piazza. Rut after a few trials he was able to aH.-h 1 - on the steps with the graceful accuracy of a flying squirrel. The chief drawback to the walk is its odorous familiarity in hot weather : but it ca 1 be neutralized by a weekly wash of boras and coal tar. Ita principal advantage i 3 that it cm be stretched. As the town grows it is pulled out towar Is the suburbs. Two yoke of cattle can lengthen it three miles a day.