A Youthful Thespian.

Cromwell Argus, Volume VI, Issue 291, 9 June 1875, Page 7

A Youthful Thespian.

A few days ago young Gurley whose father lives in Croghan street, organised a theatrical company and purchased the dime novel play of " Hamlet." The company consisted of three boys and an ostler, and Mr Gurley's hired girl was to be tho Ghost if the troupe could guarantee her fifty cents per night. Young Gurley, suddenly, bloomed out as a professional, and when his mother asked him to bring in some wood he replied: "Though I am penniless thou can'st not degrade me ?"

" You trot out after that wood or I'll have your father trounce you ?" she exclaimed. " The tyrant who lays his hands upon me shall die V replied the boy, but he got the wood.

He was out on the step when a man came along and asked him where Lafeyette street was.

" Doomed for a certain time to roam the earth !" replied Gurley in a hoarse voice, and holding his right arm out straight. " I aay—you ! Where is Lafayette street V called the man.

",Ah ! Could the dead but speak—ah !" continued Gurley. The man drove him into the house, and his mother sent him to the grocer after potatoes. " I go, most noble duchess," he said as he took up tie basket, " but my good sword shall some day avenge these insults 1" He knew that the grocer favored theatricals, and when he got there he said: " Art thou provided with a store of vegetable known as the tater, most excellent duke?"

" What in thunder do you want?" growled the grocer, as he cleaned the cheese knife on a piece of paper. " Thy plebian mind is dull of comprehension !" answered Gurley. " Don't try to get off any of your nonsense on me, or I'll crack your empty pate in a minute !" roared the grocer, and " Hamlet" had to come down from "his high horse and ask for a peck of potatoes. " What made you so long ?" asked his mother as he returned.

" Thy grave shall be dug in the cypress glade ?" he haughtily answered.

When his father come home at noon Mrs Gurley told him that she believed that the boy was going crazy, and related what had occurred.

" T see what ails him," mused the father ; " this explains why he hangs around Johnson's barn so much."

At the dinner table young Gurley spoke of his father as the" illustrious count," and when his mother asked him if he would have some butter gravy he answered: " The appetite of a warrior cannot be satisfied with such nonsense." When the meal wa3 'over the father went out to his favorite shade tree, cut a sprout, and the boy was asked to step out into the woolshed and see if the penstock was frozen up. He found "me penstan there, and he said :

" Why most noble lord, I had supposed thee far away !" " I'm not so far away but what I'm going to make you skip" growled the father. "I'll teach you to fool round with ten cent trage dies ! Come up here !"

For about five minutes the woolshed was full of dancing feet, flying arms and moving bodies, and then the old man took rest and inquired :

" There, your highness, dost want any more V "•Oh !no dad—not a darned bit !" wailed the young " manager," and while the father started for down town he went in and sorrowfully informed the hired girl that he must cancel her engagement until the Fall season.

An Awkward Swallow*—ln the hospital in Montpelier, France, is a patient who has just swallowed a thermometer, left on his table, while suffering from temporary delirium, They have a great deal of trouble with him now. When he drinks hot coffee that thermometer flies against the roof of his mouth hard enough to lift his hat off, and when he eats ice cream it gets down in his boots and worries his corns.