Slightly Mixed.

Cromwell Argus, Volume V, Issue 267, 22 December 1874, Page 7

Slightly Mixed.

We are not obliged to tell how the following funny letter fell into onr hands. All Lhe reader has to do is to read it and laugh at it. We congratulate the new-made parent, and hope he will get over his confusion of ideas shortly so as to be able to tell his baby from his horse : " Dear Sister Emma, —I now take my seat, and sit down to take this opportunity to inform you that I am at last—that is, I suppose I am, for Addie has got a nice fat baby as ever made up faces. We hope these few lines may find you enjoying the same blessing. Now this is to be strictly a business letter. Firstly, as I said before, Addie has got a nice baby. Nextly, I have swopped away old John, and I think I have got a pretty nice horse. It is a girl, and weighs nine pounds—l mean the baby. It is just as fat as butter, and has a good pair of lungs. She is red and has a bobtail—the horse I mean—and a white stripe in her face and is a good driver. She has blue eyes and a dimple chin—T mean the baby—and just the prettiest mouth that ever opened to receive pap. Judging from her teeth I should think she was about six years old—l mean the horse now. She is sound, smooth, and kind. ] mean the horse or baby, or either now—and the doctor says she is the fairest he ever saw, without any exception—he meant the baby. I got twenty-five dollars to boot—not on the baby, though, for in its case the boot is on the other foot, or two or three sizes larger, as near as I can find out. I am going to harness the horse now and go after mother. She was born last night at twenty minutes past nine—l hope you don't think I mean mother or the horse, but the baby. She is as hearty as a pig, at an egg, a biscuit, and drank three cups of tea —I mean Addie. She is getting along nicely, and if she don't have any bad luck she will get along first rate. She is subject to disorders of the stomach, and they say that is a sure sign of colic—l mean the baby. I hope it is, for the nurse says colicky babies never die. She talks through her nose as she takes snuff —I mean the nurse. lam going to name her Edicma—l mean the baby. There, I've been reading this over, and I ain't fit to write. The amount of it is, lam flustrated. I am a happy daddy, and that accounts for it, so you must excuse me for this time."