New Light on Preaching.

Cromwell Argus, Volume V, Issue 267, 22 December 1874, Page 7

New Light on Preaching.

(From the, Scotsman.) An ingenious person, who, it must be supposed, is of Yankee origin, has conceived a plan for the application of modern science to pulpit •oratory, which (if the generation were wise enough to adopt it) would render the present pre-scientific methods as obsolete as wooden three-deckers. In a brief preface to a pamphlet which he has printed for private circulation, as a preliminary atap to layir?g his novel proposal before an astonished clerical world, he states that from his childhood he has been accustomed to regard the traditional and approved method of building a great number of churches at enormous expense in one town or city as a quite useless and wasteful proceeding, and that this idea having taken possession of his youthful mind, to the exclusion of everything else, he has, by much meditating, evolved out of his own consciousness an entirely novel scheme. This scheme appears, however, to have "been suggested to him by the existing gas works in our towns and cities, whereby each household may, at pleasure, derive its whole artificial light from one central source, and may adapt the quantity of that light to its individual necessities from time to time. As lie, with some appearance of reason, remarks : —"lt would be reckoned an absurd and ruinous thing for a town with ten thousand inhabitants to build and maintain twenty or thirty manufactories of artificial light, each •with its staff of officials, main-pipes, board of ■directors, meters, and branches in every narTOw lane ; and yet It does not seem to have •occurred to anyone up to this date that in 'the present method of supplying the public with artificial ecclesiastical illumination, we are perpetuating an equally unscientific method at very great pecuniary cost." Now, •of course, although from early associations, and even from the natural bias of carefully drained minds, most people will feel somewhat scandalised at the Suggestion here put forth that the ordinary pulpit oratory with which they hebdomadally refresh themselves is merely another form of gas, more or less sulphuretted to their denominational taste. But, nevertheless, early prejudices ought to be restrained, and endeavour made to give an impartial consideration to this person's ingenious and philanthropic suggestion—a claim which we are the more entitled to urge •on his behalf that though he has invented the scheme anew, it was really brought forward in substance in these columns many years ago, and, like some other noble ideas there originated, failed to secure either much attention or any approval. He proposes—stating it briefly, and without the mere technical details, which could "not interest the general reader—that in every town there shall, instead of the surprising "multiplicity of churches we see at present, be •erected one central hall. This hall shall be 'constructed in the most scientific way, especial care being bestowed upon its accoustic ■condition. Indeed, everything is to give way to this, and we rather infer from the stress he gives to this part of his plan that :accoustics are a primary consideration and theology a secondary. Within this carefully and accoustically built hall there shall be fitted up a separate compartment for each religious sect or denomination existing in tho town. However small in number a Church may be, it nevertheless shall be entitled te its proper compartment in this sanctum sanctorum. No provision, however, shall be made for any congregation. Eeach sect or Tite shall have sufficient space afforded for its service—wherever it be—room for its ecclesiastical furniture and officials, and no more. Each separate compartment must also •be constructed so as to be perfectly air and sound-tight, bo that not the faintest echo of 'Calvinistic doctrine shall leak into the Armi"nian compartment, nor the slightest shade of the melody of a " human hymn" invade .the tympanum of the adjacent Old Bur'gher one. Then from each hermeticallysealed compartment shall be laid mains through the town, with branches and connections where required ; and thenceforth you have your sermon " laid on," just as now we have out gas and water. You conaiectwith anymain you prefer—High Church, Dry Church, Low Church, Slow Church, almost No Church—whichever you please. You pay your money and you take your ■choice. Our inventor has evidently a difficulty about charging the hall's customers. Whether payments by results would be best, <or a fixed annual rent for your connection, equivalent to our present rents, or, as he in "his Yankee language calls it, " pew-tax," he has not quite determined. To charge by the cubic foot he considers quite impracticable ; firstly, because the heavier the preaching the less you would pay, owing to the density of the gas ; secondly, because the - careless and worldly-minded householder would be certain to economise his consumpt to a minimum, when he knew the less he turned on the leS3 he would pay. And there does seem a, reasonable probability of such a result. Having introduced your branch pipe from your favourite main, you have nothing more to do but to turn on your rupply at 11 a.m. ■on the following Sunday, and our inventor claims that so perfect will be the accoustic conditions of his edifice and its auxiliary mains and branches, that to you sitting at your own fireside the well-known tones of your favourite preacher will be conveyed with greater facility than now, when you take your weekly snooze in your family pew. There are several subsidiary advantages under the new 6cheme which will at once suggest themselves to the reflecting masculine mind ; how you could, by a slight turn of forefinger and thumb, in a moment reduce

your supply—moderate a distant Boanerges to a roaring sucking-dove—or, if need were, extinguish him altogether; how you could Bhut off a bore at his " firstly," and turn him on again at his " practical conclusions ;" how you could substract the sermon altogether, and confine yourself to the musical part of the service. Still there are difficulties, certainly, which we foresee in the general carrying out of this plan. Suppose a household be divided in its ecclesiastical sympathies—is papa to be obliged to take in a " High" branch for the young ladies and a " Broad" for his youngest son ? Or suppose an accidental escape of gas from a street main—who would be liable if, by an explosion of Dr Begg or Dr Phin, some respectable woman got blown up with her Sunday clothes on in open day ?—or if the mains got out of order, and the gas got mixed up before you knew ? Fancy the unexpected compound of carburretted Supralapsarianism and sulphuretted Antimonianism, which, in an unguarded moment, you might have turned on. However, if the scheme be brought to practice, all these may prove imaginary dangers ; and we may, twenty years hence, be congratulating ourselves on the immense progress we have made since that pre-scientific era when we had to go out on a 3tormy winter Sunday, and sit in a cold, draughty, and uncomfortable church, with our feet wet, and a cold in our head, earnestly desiring the "finally, brethren," half an hour before it came. One thing does seem an insuperable difficulty—we mean the ladies' bonnets. There is no provision made for the proper exhibition of them under this scientific dispensation. Yet it is well known that to a considerable proportion of our devout women sermons only exist as a suitable accompaniment to a new bonnet. We are much afraid that with this new accoustic gospel will begin an era of pure secularism and entire neglect of ordinances among the women folks, which may have startling results. And yet if you have no church to go to when you have a new bonnet to go in, it hardly seems worth while having either a bonnet or a creed, especially a creed.