The Pebble-Stons Cure.

Cromwell Argus, Volume V, Issue 264, 1 December 1874, Page 7

The Pebble-Stons Cure.

The Danbury News says:—There are people who are credulous in the matter of new remedies, and hasten at the first opportunity to test their confidence. Mr Pilaster, a resident of Nelson-street, is such a man. He recently read a statement in his agricultural paper that a pebble-stone held in the mouth would very much modify the craving of thirst, and, as he was afraid to drink large quantities of ice-water, he was glad he heard of the plan, and determined to give it a trial. He did so that afternoon, selecting a nice smooth stone, rubbing it clean on the leg of his breeches. Pretty soon after he got in the house, and wbilejholding the pebble in his mouth, and thinking with tears of gratitude in his eyes of the man who made the discovery, three gentlemen and a lady called, and entered into conversation. Mr Pilaster was sitting on a mohair-cushioned chair, sitting on the very edge, so as.not to injure it, and was staring in a mild and forgiving manner at the lady, when he suddenly experienced a tick'ing sensation within his nostril, and wrinkling his nose to prevent it, he broke out in a gurgling noise, and in the next instant his eyes protruded, ho bounded from the chair, threw his arms in tne air, and dropped down on the floor, and immediately went rolling and kicking under the centre table, upsetting that article, and strewing the floor with bound books, visiting cards, and wax flowers. Then he rolled over and reared ip, and pounded his heels, and turned black in the face, and worked his hands and threw his arms. The people were terribly frightened. Mrs Pilaster and the lady visitor screamed and wrung heir hands, and tried to get out of the door. One of the gentlemen got behind the stove, and 'another, who had no doubt it was a case of hydrophobia, shrieked above the din, " Don't be frightened, ladies; heaven will protect us," and immediately crawled under the sofa. The other was the only one who retained his preseuca-of, mind. He thought it was a tit, and catching the unfortunate Pilaster by thp nether garment as he evoluted about, held him down and rubbed the bick of h"s head with an album. Then he called the Other gentlemen to help him, and hoth of then) fell to rubbing the miserible man, and pounding his breast, and shaking his head ; and in the meantime Mrs Pilaster got a pail of water and poured it on his head and down his batik: And in the midst of these extraordinary exertions the pebble came up a-id rolled out on the carpet without b-ing perceived, but Mr Pilaster was too weak I to tell them. Then the two gentlemen I picked fite up and carried him to his bed, | and took off his clothes, and the third

stated after all the doctors ho knew the uame«ro£ Mr* Piaster hentwi water, tod the femafe (MOtord pUtfem tud prepared buioa draughts, and tea »ia«fe* | laier the iitsuhfsi fwtieot. wai*temu*g j ft a jlnnketaad autartiux under the combined' etfecte of the touaUni arid onions. Then| the doctora began to arrive, and pretty so<m j there were tewa of them ia the room y arid what they didn't know about the case would have been a wicked waste of time hunting up. The first doctor aatd it was something with a name an inch and a hail" long and niue joints. Then the next man' fetched up something with a name still longer, and he was followed by a doctpr who had to sit down to pronounce Ins. At this Mrs Pilaster fainted dead away, and when she came to, the seven doctors were calling each other names of twelve syllables, and the poor lady went off again. By this time Mr Pilaster had so far recovered as to regain his consciousness and some of his strength, and bounding out of bed with no clothes to speak of, other than three mustard plasters and a couple of onion draughts, he at or.ce put an entirely different aspect on the condition of affairs j and when Mrs Pilaster recovered, and when the visitor recovered (which both of them did when they discovered there was no one to assist them), they found the room emptied, and saw A'r Pilaster scraping mustard from his legs, and howling the most dismal language describable. He is better to-day, we understand, so that he can get around street a little ; but he says ninety-five tons of rock cannot quench his thirst for the blood of the man who first suggested that pebble-stone.