Mark Twain and the Coamet.

Cromwell Argus, Volume V, Issue 265, 27 October 1874, Page 7

Mark Twain and the Coamet.

THE POSTAt SERVICE

! This is to inform the"'public that in 'connection with Mr Barnum I haV¥ cbmet for a term of years ; aria ttlesn-e also tb solicit the public patronage in favour of a Beneficial enterprise which we have in view. I We propose to fit up comfortable, and even luxurious, as.mhny pejs.bns as will ufcvvith their patronage, and to mate an among the heavenly bodies. We shall prepare 1,000,000 staterooms in the tail of the Comet, (with hot and cold water, gas, look-ing-glass, parachute, umbrella, &c., in-eVTch),' and shall construct mure if we meet with a Sufficiently generous encouragement. We Shall have billiard -rooms,, ,tpusjcrooms, bowling-alleys, and many spacipifsi theatres and free libraries ; and on the main jleck we propose to have a driving park, with bpwards of 10,000 miles of roadway in it. |We shall publish daily newspapers also. DEPARTURE OF THE COMET. ' ' lv ' | The comet will leave New York at 10 p:m on the 29th instant, and therefore it will bidesirable that the passengers be on board by 8 at the latest, to avoid confusion-in- getting under way. It is not known whether passports will be necessary or not, but it is deemed best that passengers provide them, and so guard against-all contingencies.,. No dogs, will be allowed oij board. I This rule has been made in deference to -the existing state of feeling regarding these animals, and will be : strictly Adhered to. The, safety of the passengers will in all ways be jealously looked tb. A substantial iron railing will be put all around the comet, and : no-one will be allowed to go tothe edge and'look over unless I accompanied by either my partner or myself.

will be of. the completes! character. Of course, the telegraph, and the telegraph only, will be employed consequently, friends occupying staterooms, 20,000,000 and even 30,000,000 miles apart, will be able to send a message and receive a reply inside of eleven days. Night messages will' be half-rate. The whole of this vast postal' service will be under the personal -superintendence of Mr Hale, of Mayne. Meals .served at all hours. Meals served in staterooms charged extra.

fiostility is not apprehended from any great planet, but we have thought it best to err on the safe side, and therefore "have provided a proper number of mortars, siege guns, and boarding pikes. History shows that small,' isolated communities, such as the people of remote islands, are prone to be hostile to strangecs, and so the same may be the case with THE INHABITANTS OF STARS of the tenth or twentieth magnitude. We shall jin no one case wantonly offend the people of any star, but shall treat all alike with urbanity and kindliness, never conducting ourselves toward an'asteroid a'ter a fashion which we could not venture to assume toward Jupiter and Saturn. I repeat that we shall not wantonly offend any star ; but at the same time we shall promptly resent any injury that may be done us, or any'insolence offered us, by parties or governments residing in any star in the firmament. Although averse to the shedding of blood, we shall still hold this course rigidly and fearlessly, not only towards single stars, but towards constellations. We shall hope to leave a good impression of America behind lis in every nation we visit, from Venus to Uranus. And, at all events, if we cannot inspire love, we shall, at least, compel respect for our 'country wherever we go. We shall take with us, free of charge, A GREAT FORCE OF MISSIONARIES, and shed the true light upon all the celestial orbs which, physically aglow, are yet morally in darkness. Sunday-schools will be established wherever practicable. Compulsory education will also be introduced.

The comet will visit Mars first, and then proceed to Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, and Saturn. Parties connected with the government of the District of Columbia and with the former City Government of New York, who may desire to inspect the "rings," will be allowed time and every facility. Every ntar of prominent magnitude will be visited, and time allowed for excursions to points of interest inland.

THE DOG STAR has been stricken from the programme. Much time will be spent in the Great Bear, and, indeed, in every constellation of importance. So, also, with the sun and moon, and the milky way, otherwise the Gulf Stream of the skies. Clothing suitable for wear in the sun should be provided. Our* programme has been so arranged that we shall seldom go more than 100,000,000 of miles at a time without stopping at some star. This will necessarily make the stoppages frequent and preserve the interest of the tourist. Baggage checked through to any point on the route. Parties desiring to make only a part of the proposed tour, and thus save expense, may stop over at any star they choose, anil wait for the return voyage. After visiting all the most celebrated stars and constellations in our Bystem, and personally inspecting the remotest sparks that even the most powerful telescopes can now detect in the firmament, we shall proceed with good heart upon A STUPENDOUS VOYAGE of discovery among the countless whirling worlds that make turmoil in the migl.tv wastes of space that stretch their solemn «olitudes, their unimaginable vastness, billions upon billions of mi.lesawav beyond the farthest verge of telescopic vision, till bv comparison the little sparkling vault we jrazc at od «wtfr flhfcll