Taking it Literally.

Cromwell Argus, Volume V, Issue 264, 20 October 1874, Page 7

Taking it Literally.

..Among the scholars when Lamb nnd Oolei'klge-.HtteijVled school whs a poor clergyman's son of the name of rimon Jennings. On account of his dismal and gloomy nature, his playmates had nickPfmed him Pontius Pilate.' »One morning be went up to the master, Doctor Boyer, and said, in liii usual whimpering manner, " Mease, I'octor, the boys call me Pontius Pilate;" If there was one thing which Doctor ■■Boyer hated more than a false quantity in Greek and Latin, it was the practice of nicknaming. Hushing down among, the scholars, from, his pedestal of stale; with cane in hand, be cried, with his usual voice of thunder, '■ Listen, boys ; the next time I hear any of you say ' Pontius Pilate' I'll cane yon as long as this cane will last! You are to say ' Simon Jennings,' and not 'Pontius Pilate.' Remember that if you value your bides." Next day, when the same class were reciting the Catechism, a boy of a remarkably dull and literal turn of mind bad to repeat the Creed. He had got as far as " suffered under," and was about popping out the next word, when the Doctor's prohibition unluckily flashed upon bis obtuse mind. After, a moment's hesitation be blurted out, " suffered under Simon Jennings, was uttered, for Doctor Boyer bad already sprung like a tiger upon him, and the cane was descending .upon' his unfortunate shoulders. When the irate doctor had discharged his cane-storm 1 upon him, he said, i " What do you me*n, you hooby, by such blasphemy 1" " I on!y did as you told me," | replied the simple-minded youth. "Did as I told you !" roared the doctor, now wound up to something above .the boiling point. "What do you mean']" As he said this, he instinctively grasped his cane more furiously. " Yes, doctor ; you said we were always to call Pontius Pilate, -iirion Jennings. Didn't he, Sam V appealed the unfortunate culprit to Coleridge, who was next to him. Sam said naught; but the doctor, who saw what a dunce he had to deal with, cried, '"' Hoy you are a fool ! Where are your brains 1" Poor Doctor Boyer for a second time was " floored ;" for the scholar said, with an earnestness which proved its truth, but to the intense horror of the learned potentate, 'ln mv stomach, sir." The doctor-re-spected that boy's stupidity ever after, as thou J) half afraid that a stray blow might be unpleasant.