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Cromwell Argus, Volume V, Issue 244, 14 July 1874, Page 6

The married ladies of a certain town have formed a “ Come Home Husband Club.” It is about 4ft. long, and has a brush at the end of it. Mrs Hill, a widow sixty-five years of age, has just received from a Derby jury the sum of £SO, as a solatium for her blighted affections, in the nonfulfilment of a promise of a marriage by a gay widower, one Mr Wild, who was stated to bo seventy-five years cf ago. Mrs Hill was defendant’s “ first love,” but their courtship bore out the old axiom, “There’s many a slip, &c.” However, the day after the burial of the plaintiff’s second husband, the old affection revived on the part of Mr Wild, who again offered her marriage, was accepted, but evidently jilted her once more, and has to pay for his folly. MODERX POETICAL OBITUARIES. The death angel smote Alexander M'Glue, And gave him a protracted repose ; He wore a checked shirt and number nine shoe, And he had a red wart on his nose, No doubt he is happier, dwelling in space, Over there on the evergreen shore, His friends are informed that his funeral takes place Precisely at quarter past four. Four doctors tackled Johnny Smith— They blistered and they bled him ; With squills and auti-biliious pil's And ipecac they fed him, They stirred him up with calomel, And tried to move his liver ; But all in vain—his little soul Was wafted o’er the river.