Sequel to a Newspaper Suggestion.

Cromwell Argus, Volume V, Issue 215, 23 December 1873, Page 7

Sequel to a Newspaper Suggestion.

He cauio in with an interrogation point in one eye, and a stick in one hand. One eye was covered with a handkerchief, and one arm in a sling. His bearing was that of a man with a settled purpose in view. “ I want to see,” said lie, “ the man that puts things intoithe paper.” We intimated that several of ns earned a frugal’livelihood in that way. “ Well, I want to see the man that cribs things out of other papers. The fellow who writes mostly with shears, you understand.”

We explained to him that there were seasons when the most gifted among ns, driven to frenzy by the scarcity of ideas and events, and by the clamorous demands of an insatiable public, in moments of emotional insanity, plunged the glittering shears into the exchanges. He went off calndy, but in a voice tremulous with suppressed feeling, and indistinct with tho recent loss of half-a-dozen or so of his front teeth.

“ Just so. I presume so. I don’t know much about this business, but I want to see a man, the man that printed that little piece about pouring cold water down a drunken man’s spine of his back and making him instantly sober. If you please, I want to see that man. I would like to talk with him.” Then he leaned his stick against our desk, and spit on his serviceable hand, and resumed his hold on the stick as though he was wearing it. After studying the stick a minute, he added in a somewhat louder tone—- “ Mister, I came here to see that ere man. I want to see him bad.” We told him that particular man was not in. “Just so. I presume so. They told me before I come that the man I wanted to see wouldn’t be anywhere. I’ll wait for him. 1 live up north, and I’ve walked seven miles to see that man. I guess I’ll sit down and wait.” He then sat down by the door, and reflectively pounded the floor with Ins stick, but his feelings would not allow him to keep still. “ I suppose none of yon didn’t ever pour much cold water down any drunken man’s back to make him instantly sober, perhaps.” None of ns in tho office had ever tried the experiment. “Just so. I thought as like as not yon had not. Well, mister, 1 have. I tried it yesterday, and I have come seven miles on

foot to see the man that printed that piece. It wasn’t much of a piece, I don’t think ; but I want to see the man that printed it just a few minutes. You see, John Smith, he lived next door to my house, when I’m to home, and he gets lunv-come-you-so every little period. Now, when he’s sober he’s all right if you keep out of Iris way ; but when he’s drunk lie goes home and breaks dishes, and tips over the stove, and throws hardware round, and makes it inconvenient for his wife, and sometimes gets his gun, and goes out calling on his neighbours, and it ain’t pleasant. Not that I want to say anything about Smith ; but me and my wife don’t think he ought to do so. He came home drunk lately, and broke all the kitchen windows out of his house, and followed his wife round with the carving-knife, talking about her liver, and after a while he lay down by my fence and went to sleep. I had been reading that little piece—it wasii’t much of a piece—and I thought if I could pour some water down his spine, on his back, and make him sober, it would be more comfortable for his wife, and a square thing to do all round. So I poured a bucket of spring water down John Smith’s spine of his back,” “ Well,” said we, as our visitor paused, “ did it make him sober.” Our visitor took a firmer hold of his stick, and replied with increased emotion—- “ Just so. I suppose it did make him as sober as a judge in less time than you could say Jack Robinson; but, mister, it made him mad. It made linn the maddest man I ever saw, and Mr John Smith is a bigger man than me, and stouter. He is a good deal stouter. lUa-bless him, I never knew he was so stout

! till yesterday, and lie’s handy with bis fists, too. I should suppose lie was the handiest man with his.lists I ever saw.” u Then he went for you, did ho ?” we asked innocently. “ Just so. Exactly. I suppose ho went for me about the best he knew ; but 1 don’t hold no grudge against John Smith—l suppose he ain’t a good man to hold a grudge against ; only I want to see the man that printed that piece. I want to see him bad. I feel as though it would soothe me to see that man. 1 want to show him how a drunken man acts when yon pour water down the spine of bis back. That’s what 1 come for.” Our visitor, who had poured water down the spine of a man’s back, remained until six o’clock in the evening, and then went up street to find the man who printed that little piece. The man he is looking for started for Alaska, last evening for a summer vacation, and will not be back before September, IS7B.