Having a Portrait Taken.

Cromwell Argus, Volume V, Issue 213, 9 December 1873, Page 7

Having a Portrait Taken.

(From the Danbury NeiDs.) Having a portrait taken is one of the greatest events in q, man’s life. The chief 'desire is to look the very best, and on the s.dccossof the .picture,hinges, in many cases, the most important epoch in life. To work up a proper appearance time enough is used, .which if devoted to catching fleas for their phosphorous, Would cancel the entire debt and establish a daily paper. When you have completed your toilet you go to‘the gallery and force yourself into a nonchalance of expression which is too absurd for anything. Then you take the chair, and spread your gracefully, appropriate a calm and indifferent look, and commence to expire. An attenuated man V/ith a pale face, long hair, and a soiled noise now comes out of the cavern, and adjusts the'camera. Then he goes back of you and tolls you to'sit back ast far as you can in the chair, and that it has been a remarkably backward spring, After getting [ you back till your spine' interferes with the j chair, itself, he shoves' your head in a pair of ic'e-tongs, and dashes at the camera again. [ Here, with a piece-of discoloured velvet over lijs head,, ho- bombards you in this manner, ‘“.Your cliih out a little, please.” The chin is protruded. “ That’s nicely ; now a little more.” The chin advances again, and the pomade commences to,melt and start foe freedom. Then he comes back to you and j slaps one of your hands on your legs in such a position as to give you the appearance of ! trying to lift it overhead. The other is turned under itself, and becomes so sweaty that, you begin to fear that it will stick there permanently.' A new stream of pomade finds its way out, "and starts downward. Then he shakes your head in the tongs till it settles right, and says it looks like, rain, and puts your chin out again, and punches out your chest, and says he doesn’t know what the poor are to do next winter, unless there is a radical change in affairs, and then takes the topi of your.head in one hand and your 1 | chin in the other, and gives your neck such a i wrench as Would give another man a promii nont position in a new hospital. Then lie j runs his hand through your hair, and scratches i your scalp), and stops back to the camera and the injured velvet for another look. By this time new sweat and pomade have started out. The whites of your eyes show unpleasantly, and your whole body feels as if it had been visited by an enormous cramp, and another j and a much bigger one was momentarily exj peeked. Then he points at something for yon to look at ; tells you to look cheerful and composed; and snatches away the velvet "and looks at his watch. When he gets tired, and you feel'as if there was but very little left in this world to live for, he restores the 1 Velvet, says it's an unfavourable day for a picture, but bo hopes for the best, and immei diatelydisappears in hisdem; Then yon get up , j ami stretch yourself, slap on'your hat, and im- | mediately sneak-home, feeling mean, humbled, I and altogether too wretched for description, j The first friend who Sees the picture says he can see enough resemblance to make certain I I that it is you, but you have tried to look too j formal to be natural and graceful.