MISCELLANEA

Cromwell Argus, Volume IV, Issue 203, 30 September 1873, Page 6

MISCELLANEA

Aihotol sign in MioMgwn roads thus!— " A good square meal, 1 dot. ; a, perfect eovcti. Idol. 50dental ' ° ° "Ayoun'gkdy thinks "it is about time that some young fellow proposed, as she has been bridesmaid eight times and, has been tantalised enough. 'J t ' . A young lady" in Auckland who lost her "engaged" ring lately, announced through the evening paper there that she would reward the finder with a kiss if he restored it to her.. I The young ladies' debating society at Paris* Kentucky,'have decided that bachelors are a nuisance, and that it is the duty of every member 1 of the society to do her best to abate the nuisance. A bereaved husband in an obituary notice of his deceasedrwife, wrote.. Jf. She has gone to her eternal test ;" but to his horror the newspaperprinted.it, "She has gone to her 'eternal roast," A schoolmaster' in Bennington, Vermont, Was lately worsted in single combat by one his pupils for presuming: to interfere with the hitter's courtship of a female class-mate during school hours. •'■' "Is MikeM'tJloskeyin the ranks ?" asked the commander-in-chief, as the army stood in ! line of battle. '' Here, Gineral," said Mike I pepping forward. '' Then let the engagement | be.tcin," said the General. That is the way Mike tells the story. An American paper gives the following in its weekly gossip :-—" Sunday being a balmy day, the styles were brought 'out. The most richly dressed lady we saw wan the wife of a man who has owed this office thirttJ3n dollars for nearly three year.?. He ,says he cannot ftuse the money,.and we believe'him." The heart of a deacon who Officiated with the contribution box at a recent meeting for foreign mission's in Boston, was gladdened by observing among its contents a neatly rolled I package. On hastily investigating, hisformer | belief in the depravity of human' nature was , changed to a certainty by discovering' one j dollar and a cent; and upon the pa'ner thy | following:—" The cent is for the heathen, ! and the dollar to get it to them." j A Very Daniel of a; in Mem- ; phis. He came |o judgment the other day I in a case about a goose., t This graceful fowl fell into the river, and it was rescued by a riia'n and brother, who claimed salvage from its owner, an Kalian. ■ The latter wouldn't pay it, and produced' a persuasive pistol, Whereupon the coloured person marched off with the goose and got a warrant for assault. J Then did the goose's owner swear out au an-! swering warrant for the goose. The judge, perplexed, fined both of them, and kept the goose himself. . : A great matth at billiards has taken plnoei in London recently between tV\ Cook'(cham-' pirtn) and young Stanley, for £4OO, the latter i i receiving 300 points in 1000. Stanley had i bad hick to start with, and atone time the game : "stbnd-;- Cook, 537 ; Stanley, 480. The young-1 •ster, however, who appears to have played! | with remarkable confidence, crept up, and nassing his opponent, came in a winner bv (8 points. Referring t'o the match, a home sporting paper says that considering Stanley's age, " we are of opinion that, with care and practice, no one is mora likely than he to become the future billiard champion." _ The medical men who hail from the Celestial Empire are more celebrated—in the. Colonies at least—for the eccentricity than the j success of-their system of treatment. It 1 would appear, however, that one of their! number; named Ah Sue, who practices at Ararat, Victoria, has been extraordinarily successful -in his treatment of diptheria-so much sr>, that the em'e!? he has effected have been reported to the chief medical officer in Melbourne, who has formed so favourable an opinion of Ah Sue's method and success that he has given instructions that Ah Sue is to be employed when another case of the disease occurs in the district, while a' medical gentleman will bo sent from Melbourne to watch and report upon the case. "Snyder," the famous contributor to the Auckland Herald, under the heading of " Government Luxuries," discourses thus : "Winter strawberries at h'alf-a-crown an ounce are somewhat expensive eating ; fio are green peas at a guinea a quart, Salmon at ten shillings a pound, oraturbot and lobster at three guineas for the two may perhaps be indulged in. But none rtf these" luxuries appear to be equal to the Hon. the Colonial Treasurer standing in the telegraph office in Melbourne, while Dr Featherston stood at the telegraph office in London, and conversed with each other at the small charge only of irine shillings and sixpence per word." He then gives ail official copy of the official talk indulged in by the Agent-General and Julius Vogel in the interests of the Colony, and concludes: " Gentle and tender reader, this little bit of talking along the wires between my friend Julius and my distant relative' I eatnel'aton cost just a trifle over om hundred and eighty gentle and tender reader, you and 1 have had to contribute our share in liquidating."