MISCELLANEA.

Cromwell Argus, Volume IV, Issue 187, 10 June 1873, Page 7

MISCELLANEA.

At the Carlisle (England) Horse Fair, heavy animals suitable for dray work brought prices as high as £lls. One team of four sold for £339. The following is a specimen of Yankee advertising :—" A New York monitor asked a pupil of his the meaning of the scriptural phrase "The wages of sin is death." The boy exhibited an ignorance that was truly deplorable—he did not know what wages were, and wa3 asked what his father got on Saturday night. ' Drunk !' was the answer. Such would rot have been the case had the father stuck to Gerke wine, which l cheer3 but does not inebriate,' unless taken in inor dinate quantities, and even then ' death is robbed of its sting,' as no headache ensues." A San Francisco paper compiles the following "centenarian crop":—Mrs Tozer, residing in the town of Athens, Me., is 107 years old, and knits stockings without spectacles. John Boyd, Louisville, Ky., coloured, 112 ; chews and smokes; third set of teeth coming; two cords of wood bed e dinner. Sarah Flanders, 105, Macon, Ga.; hale and hearty ; engaged to be married fo Luke Cozens, 101, of the same place, temperance and antitobacco. .James Tyler, Chicago, 105, lately whipped his son, George Tyler, aged 80, for impudence ; lined five dollars. Mary Walters, Elmira, N.Y., 104 ; takes in washing ; no spectacles; Bible twice a day; smokes a pipe ; strictly temperate. A curious case of bigamy which came off before the Malmesbury Bench recently, is noticed by the Kynctoa Observer: —"A publican of that borough named Dunstan, swore an information against his wife, stating that she had been previously married to a man named Aljxa'ider Kinloch, who was as yet alive. The accused had only one child by her first husband and two by her second. The curious part of the affair is that the prosecutor knew the fact shortly after his marriage, aome eight or ten years ago. He has further demonstrated the peculiar ways of colonial life in some quarters by living with the woman since the information was sworn, and during the adjournment of the case." Some time ago (says a Victer'an paper) two venerable male specimens of the goat tribe met on the ransjes at the head of Long Gully, Bendigo, and " went for" one another, and a terrific encounter ensued. Whilst some furious "butt practice" was going on, the animals got near the ed<je of a deserted quartz shaft, and during one of the charges disappeared down the gulf. A resident in the neighbourhood saw the occurrence, but not being a lover of the goat species, took no further heed. Two or three days later, however, he thought of the matter, and curiosity, combined with humane motives, decided him to go and see how the bel.igerent " billies" had fared. Accordingly he went to the shaft with two friends and a stout rope, and on descending the hole he found the champions at the bottom alive and uninjured. With some difficulty they were onee mora restored to terra firma, but when there, singular to state, they resumed the combat as furiously as ever, and would doubtl(S3 have finally settled the question "which was the best goat of the two" had they been allowed so to do. Paddy Murphy and his wife Bridget, after many years of hard labour in ditching and washing, had accumulated a sufficiency, besides supporting themselves and the "ehikler," to purchase a cow, (of course they had pigs,) which they did at the first opportunity. As it was bought of a Protestant neighbour, Paddy stopped on his way home at the house of the priest, and procured a bottle of holy water with which to exorcise the false faith out of her. "Isn't she a foine creature?" asked Pat of the admiring Bridget, when the animal had been got safely home; "jest hould her till I fix the shed." To save the precious fluid from harm, he took it into the house, and set it up in a cupboard until lie had fixed things; then he returned and br night the bottle out again, and while Bridget was holding the rope proceeded to pour it upon the cow's back. But poor Paddy had made a slight mistake. Standing within the same closet was a bottle of aquafortis, that had been procured for a far different purpose, and as it dropped upon the back of the poor cow, she exhibited decided appearances of restlessness. "Pour on more, Pat," shouted Bridget, as she tugged at the rope. " I'll give her enough now," quoth Paddy, and he emptied the bottle. Up went the heels of the cow, over went Bridget and half a dozen of the "childer," and away dashed the infuriated animal down the street, to the terror of all the dogs. Poor Paddy stood for a moment breathless with astonishment, and then, clapping his bands upon his hips, looked sorrowfully, and exclaimed, "Be jabers, Bridget, but isn't the Protestant strong in her—the baste."