MISCELLANEA.

Cromwell Argus, Volume IV, Issue 181, 29 April 1873, Page 7

MISCELLANEA.

- Samuel Jay, aged 73, of Bedford, litis become the father of a bouncing pair of twins. A. C. Chnmborlain, aged 80, has been admitted to the bar in Hastings, Minnesota, U.S. Charles Dickens, through a spiritual medium in America, is completing his "Edwin Drood." A girl in Alton, Illinois, got her behind rig so high that it tipped over her face and smothered her to death. An Illinois spinster proposes to raffle off "her heart and hand," in 100,000 chances of one dollar each. One Sunday, 492 men entered an Indianopolis saloon to make sure that the liquor law was being strictly enforced. A Georgia man, who lost his wife and two children by a vail way collision, compromised with the company for 300 dels. A Mormon woman is thoroughly aroused at last, and declares that unless her husband cuts tne number of his wives down to seven, she will leave him. Tennessee is hard on physicians. If the patient lives, it is a "scratch" if the doctor gets paid ; if the patient dies, the rest of the family want to shoot the doctor. Mark Twain, in speaking of cannibalism, grows serious for once, and solemnly declares that, for his own part, he " would rather go hungry for two days than eat an old personal friend." The last tour suggested for Mr Stanley is a voyage to discover the North Pole. Having cut on it his name and the date of discovery, he is to bring it back with him, with the banner of the Stars and Stripes flying from the top. Among the papers of the late Lord Lytton, there was found a note, in which he expressed a wish that whenever his death occurred, his body should not be touched by the surgeons, but that it should remain on the bed where he might die for three days. There was a further proviso that at the expiration of three days he should be examined by medical men, who were to ascertain that he was really dead. This is the. way Texas whisky affects one not accustomed to it, if we may judge from the following, which we find in an exchange :—" A traveller in Texas was invited to drink at a small town where he had stopped. He says, ' I woke up next morning, and found myself on top of a haystack, with my coat on, and myself with both arms inserted through the stirrups of my saddle, and the surcingle around my neck, acting as a neck-tie.' " Elder Kna] p, the great revivalist of religion down in Arkansas, when about to biptize, a new convert, called out in a loud voice, " Does anyone know any reason this man should not be baptized V and to his surprise a long specimen of an Arkansas 'raveller shouted in response—"See here, Mr Preacher, I don't want to interfere in that ere business of yours, but if you oxp ct to get the sin out of that old cuss you will have to anchor him out in the river over night." The San Francisco Ncios Letter gives the following local dottings :—" Bulletin and Call men been up in a balloon : will never be as near Heaven again.—A man has died immediately upon stepping out of a bath : cleanliness is next to godliness.—The principal of the Broadway Girls' Grammar School is in a difficulty; the girls are so padded he doesn't know where to administer punishment. They're having a good time until he decides.—Mongolian tossed by'a bull. Johr, though not, drunk, was slightly elevated.— Dennis Coleman has beaten his wife out of this world into the next. She hopes the hangman won't send him after her." A time story about a Chinaman has reached the Wanjaratta Despatch from Oxley. A Chinese hawker left a fellowcountryman in his spring-cart to mind the horse while he entered a house to effect a deal over some fowls. The horse became tired of waiting, and started off. The Chinaman threw away the reins, and in the agony of terror clutched the animal's tail. The horse was not accustomed to be controlled in that manner, and broke into a gallop. The Chinaman held on desperately, with an expression on his face which showed that he expected to be taken to perdition. Fortunately an ostler saw the cart as it Haw down the main street, and managed to intercept the horse, and bring it to a standstill. The Chinaman descended with his hands full of the hair he had pulled from the tail. "Me no sabe horse" was the only explanation he could utter. He received a severe lecture, in a language unknown to the bystanders, when the owner appeared in search of the runaway; and he was not invited to join in the festivities which were proposed by the owner to celebrate the sale recovery of horse and cart.