Degrees of Heat.

Cromwell Argus, Volume IV, Issue 164, 31 December 1872, Page 6

Degrees of Heat.

A Virginia paper says they have begun there to indicate the heat by the number of times a day that people have to change their collars. Last week, it says, the weather attained a "three-collar heat." New York seems to be hottest of all. It would probably require a boxful of collars to indicate the degree of heat under which the following verses have been produced. They appear in the New York Punchinello: — Oh. for a lodge in a garden of cucumbers ! Oh, for an ijeoerg or two to control ! Oh, for a vale which at mid-day the dew cumhers ! Oh. for a pleasure trip up to the Pole ! Oh. for a little one-storey thermometer, With nothing but zeros all ranged in a row; Oh, for a l>ig iouble-barrellel hydrometer To measure the moisture that rolls from m? j brow ! Oh, that "this cold world" were twenty times colder—- | (That's irony-red hot, it seemeth to me); ■ | Ob, for a turn of its dreadful cold shoulder; Oh, what a comfort au ague would be ! | Oh, for a grotto to typify heaven. Scooped in the rook under cataract waste, I Oh, for a " winter of discontent" even ; Oh, for wet blanket judiciously cast ! I Ob, for a soda-fountain spouting up boldly, From every hot lamp-post against the hot skyi Oh. for a proud maiden to look on me coldly! Freezing my soul with a glance of her eye ; ! Oh, for a draught from a cup of cold pizen! And oh, for a resting-place in the cold grave. With a bath in the Styx, where the deep shado* ■i. lies on, . - •-..-■ '....-." ■■', And deepens the-chill of-its dark running wave !