VARIETIES.

Cromwell Argus, Volume III, Issue 125, 2 April 1872, Page 6

VARIETIES.

—o— Seknnd luv is like a second case of measles— ! | the paslumt always lias it light. “ Steel your heart,” said a considerate father I to his son, “ for you arc going now among some I fascinating girls.” “1 had much rather steal | theirs,” said the unpromising young man. 1 1 Handel was once the proprietor of the Opera ' j House, London, and at the time presided at the i harpsichord in the orchestra. His embellish- | meats were so masterly that the attention of the | audience was frequently diverted from the singI ing to the accompaniment, to the frequent mortification of the vocal professors. A pompous Italian singer was once so chagrined at the j marked attention paid to the harpsichord, in 1 i preference to his own singing, tint he swore j ' j that, if ever Handel played him a similar trick, : f; ha would jump down upon his instrument, and ! | put a stop to the interruption ; upon which Handel thus accosted him“Oh, oh ! you vill jump, vill yon ? Very well, r-are ; be so kind and tell j dc night ven you vill jump, and 1 will advertishe it in de bills ; and 1 shall get grate dale more ( money by your jumping than 1 shall get by your 1 1 singing.” M a whimsical attorney's bill. J Attending for instructions, when £ s. d. , 1 Your honour bid me call again... ... 0(j S I The like attendance, time the second, j Which as before is fairly reckoned ... 0 G 8 ", | Taking instructions given to me ■ | For drawing up your pedigree 0 6 8 Perusing said instructions to Consider whether right or no 0 G 8 i ! You form tire scale in just perfection 1, I therefore only charge inspection ... 0 G 8 R I Drawing up pedigree complete, s | Fair copy (closely writ), one sheet ... 0 G 8 r | Attending to examine same, f { An 1a i ling Turn to "William Naim ... 0 0 8 t i Addendum of Sir Darcy’s birth ... 0 G 8 q i Paid Porter’s coach hire and so forth 0 5 G Fair copy of this hill of cost ... ... 0 2 0 ' | Another, for the lirst was 105t... ... 0 2 0 , i Advice, time, trouble, and my care In settling this perplexed a (Fair ... 1 1 C ' Writing receipt at foot of bill 0 4 s My clerk—but give him what you will

LATE AUSTR attention to the ai] Bush fires have been agtm blazing all ove| South Australia. A splendid stalactite cave has been di? covered near Mudgee. About 100 miners are annually k” , accidents in Victoria. inatlc The Adelaide Paper Bag Man.. e Kawarat been destroyed by lire. Diptheria still continues its ravages in the country districts of Victoria. The quartz fever is raging in Sydney. New companies are daily appearing. The transcontinental telegraph line rs noi not expected to be compl t Vjls year. Hewitt, the pedestrian, JL ' the boy ford easily in the five-mil V£c. Three millions gallons o* water were daily used in Ballarat during the late hot weather. The North-Eastern Railway, Victoria, is expected to be opened for traffic next month, The prices obtained for thoroughbreds in Victoria are reported to be greatly declining, Another woman in Victoria has been burned to death by pouring kerosene on a fire. At Newcastle a man was horribly mutilated by his horse dragging him round a paddock. Mrs Aspinall has been appointed mistress, of the post and telegraph office at Emerald Hill. 353] ozs of gold were obtained in two days recently from a claim at Stockyard Creek, Gipp’s Land. The Miners’Association at Sandhurst has 2000 members, and is in a flourishing condition financially. Rats caused a lire in Melbourne by which £2OOO worth of damage was done, by nibbling matches. A lucky resident at Moonta found nearly £l2O in bank notes blowing about his backyard the other day. At Adelaide, a child fell out of a window while in a state of somnambulism, and was dangerously hurt. A Chinaman was flogged in Melbourne Gaol the other day. He howled terribly throughout the castigation. At Geelong an Oddfellow has been expelled from the Order for an intrigue with the wife I of another member. | Many of the Victorian squatters arc reported to have realised fortunes this season | through the rise in wool. The Launceston and Deloraine Railway in 1 Tasmania, a Government line, is running at ! a loss of £IOO a week. Davis, a gardener at Brighton, has pro- | ferred a charge against Ins wife of an attempt 1 to poison him. 1 The house of Mr Leslie Moodic, inspector iof Victorian Distilleries, has been burned down. The fire was caused through one ot i the inmates reading in bed. S A charge of cruelty to a child from the j Melbourne Industrial School has been pro- ! ferred against the Rev. Mr Abrahams, of the I Anglican Church, Emerald Hill, and his | wife. j The case of breach of promise of marriage, \ in which Miss Maunsel, daughter of a Mel--1 bourne solicitor, sued Michael Cassius, of Hokitika, for £SOOO, has been concluded, i The jury awarded £350 damages. The Melbourne Theatre Royal has been ; totally destroyed by lire, and a large amount I of damage was done to the surrounding pro- | perties. No clue has been obtained to the 1 origin of the lire. St. George’s Hall had ; a narrow escape from being burned also. Eight more survivors of the New Guinea j expedition have been discovered alive. It i appears that two rafts left the Maria. One j of them containing thirteen men, when near j the shore capsized. Those who escaped were j hospitably treated by the natives. Further north the second raft was found, together i with several bodies strewed about. Some of the men had apparently been drowned, and others killed by the natives. The search for the survivors is still being continued. A crushing from Buxton and Holman's claim, Tambaroora, produced a cake of gold weighing 4400 ozs., of which 4150 ozs. were j obtained from two tons ' In six weeks the j proprietors of this wonderful claim divided : over £24,000. The quantity of stone crushed ; by Messrs Pullen and Hawthorne’s machine for the year 1871, commencing February 16, I was 1,043 tons, yielding 15,333 ozs. This ; gives an average of about 8 ozs. to the ton, ; a very handsome return for the gross quanI tity of stone. The police traced the murdered man, Bridges, wardroom steward of the Rosario, whose body was lately found floating in Sydney I harbour with the skull smashed in, from the time of his leaving the ship till he took 3 i situation near Parramatta, near where his body was found. The police have apprehended a butcher named Nicholas, and a lad named Lester, who is only 19 years of age. . Both of them had previously been in gadl I Lestot bad in his possession a watch belong- | iug to a man named Walker, who had been ; j missing for sometime, and whoso body was 1 subsequently found. It is believed that a ! | regular system of murders lias been disl i covered. Nicholas exhibits bravado ; W I I Lester is terror-stricken, and will probably i turn approver.