MISCELLANEA

Cromwell Argus, Volume III, Issue 123, 19 March 1872, Page 7

MISCELLANEA

The Taip&ka Tim a has tho following : —A large number of Chinamen who arrived by tho Whirlwind have found their way to Tuapeka. They are physically miioh inferior to those of their countrymen already settle! in the province, and many of them are of exceedingly diminutive proportions. As thej'' trudged wearily along they presented a very woe-begone appearance. Some of them were barefooted, and others wore the pedal appendages invented probably about the time Noah was navigating about Mount Ararat. The sight of one nest of them lying down fairly "baked," near Manuka Creek, with home-sicknoss acutely depicted on their unprepossessing features, would have made Mr Shepherd's heart leap for joy, and the Secretary of the Arrow Miners' Association do a doable somersault without charge. Tiie Rev. W. J. Watkin (of New Zealand) must be a man of weak stomach, to say nothing of his mind : at least so we should conceive from the fact that at a Wesleyan temperance meeting at Melbourne, he is reported to have said:—"lie himself was a teetotaller. On one occasion he dined with a gentleman, who induced him, after the meal, to take a glass of beer. On his way home he lost his dinner. (Laughter.) He did not like emetics. (Renewed laughter.)" The Auckland llcm\l commenting on the above, slys —" Melbourne audiences a"o evidently m ire keenly appreciative of wit than we, who fail to see an exciting cause for laughter in what appears to have been merely a vulgar description of a disagreeable personal peculiarity. It is well for the teetotal cause that some of its champions hive better reasons for their advocacy than the fact that beer does not agree with their digestive organs." The Auckland Lunatic Asylum would not appear, from the following paragraph in tho Auckland Eeeidwj Shir, to be conducted very well: —" It appears that a young woman, nam >1 Mrs Etiz ibeth Witt m," was admitted to the Lunatic Asylum suffering from puerperal mania. Five d ivs after this she died. Then only, it was discovered she had inflicted previous to her admission, a severe wound on her arm an I two others on another portion of her person. These wounds had not been previously known to the keepers, nurses, or attendants. How was this ! During those five days had she never been undressed I And had she been allowed to die as a dog dies I The wound in her arm we learn was such as must have obtruded itself on attention, had the least attention been shown to the unhappy woman. Has there been scandalous neglect here I We ask it in the name of outraged humanity." Wonders will never cease. From various parts of the world at various periods, comes the intelligence of interesting monsters, animal and vegetable, in the shape of mauyleggvd cows, two-headed babies, bloated gooseberries, &.;., allihiiitni; but it has rein li tied for Otigo t> produce the greatest natural curiosity the world ever give forth, of which, we in ike no doubt, will speedily be wafted to the four corners of the earl 1. It appears that Mr d. F. Kitching, jof Mia Flat, bis bred 25J vijh--fn.it merino rains, which gigantic animals he now offers for s tie. One thing tli it surprises us is that this unparalleled freak of nature should have hitherto been known t) so few. it will be seen from the following advertisement, clipped from the Dumtan Zkia-s, that in calling this | the greatest of the world's wonders we have I not overshot the mark :-—" For sale, 2~>) Pure Merino Rims eight font and aged, ! well-bred, sitind, and in good condition. j Amply t> ,1. F. Kitching, M.a Flat." Our I only regret is, th it owing 11 the vague manner in which the above advertisement is : w irded, a d nibt should arise as to whether th • ra us are eight feet in length or in height. Possibly, however, after all, the advertiser's meaning is that the animals are blessed—or cursed, as the case may be—each with eight feet.— TiMpcbt Times. The A (t'r .i'i<'.i.i remarks : —Mice upon a dime it was written, "Re not wise in your jo.vn conceit." Tue b iok in which these | words occur has probably never fallen in fie jwiyoftho Rw. Mr Sutherland, ofDuucdin, ; who must be therefore excused for his una> ipiaint nice als i with the blessing pronounced no:i the meek and lowly in the same volume. Id) has been quarrelling and praying for the jo iiee bearers of his c tngregation—praying u' j them wo 1111 be nearer the m irk, and, having I liberated his soul in this way, he went on to address his congregation in these words:— " 1 wish to mention a matter which has not i been touched upon by any of the olliee-bearers relating more particularly to mvself, and the I position in which lam placed financially. I j think that 1 ought to be placed in at least as go id a, p isition as any of my brethren in the city ; and certainly £S.U a year would not be too nri'h fir yon to pay your minister. !n these d lys t ileut always c immauds a high . price, and ii' you do not piv me this sum you ■ will hue to piy it to my successor, anil that is very plain speaking. If you wish to have i talent you must piv f >vit, and, if yon do nob . do so, you will iiii I that talent will n it remain nining yon.*' A minister who can i ilk in this way mast lie dirt cheap at the price. ; tnlv £3 ).) per annum ! S > m.teh " talent," and all to be had for the ridiculously lo.v price of £'! ) per week. What can the Dunj edin people b; thinking of to allow such a 111 in even to contemplate ins departure from !am nig them / T.iey ought to transform ids manse into a. mansion, caver its walls with looking glasses, ami till it with portraits and busts of the talented Sutherland. We adjure our friends in Ot.igo to keep him where he j is, for if he. leaves Dunedin, he rniy come to Mel!) mime, and the p ..i.sibilby tenaties us.