A Model Love Letter.

Cromwell Argus, Volume III, Issue 117, 6 February 1872, Page 6

A Model Love Letter.

—°— ia The following epistle was written by gL Onondagua lover to the " object of his affectii -u v a widow lady, the mother of three child: [ ' After his passion had cooled and he failed "come to time," the lady sued him for brt i|P of promise of marriage, and recovered SSOOI ** healing ball for her lacerated heart, the letter ex ing part of the evidence produced on the trial Wa "My Dear Mrs M. fivery time I think of an my heart Hops up and down like a churn-dasi 14' Sensations of unutterable joy caper over it young goats over a stable roof, and thrill thro -m it like Spanish needles through a pair of 1 ||s linen trousers. As a gosling swimmeth in a t M puddle so swim lon a sea of glory. Visions .ft ecstatic rapture thicker than the hairs 0! i blacking brush, and brighter than the eyes 0 humming bird's pinions, visit me in my sl'uinb. a and borne on their invisible wings, your ini || stands before me, and I reach out to grasp like a pointer snapping at a blue-bottle : When 1 first beheld your angelic perfection t( whirled round like a humble bee under a pi ri tumbler. My eyes stood open like cellar do V in a country town, and I lifted up my ears catch the silvery accents of your voice. : jj tongue refused to wag, and in silent adoratk a drank in the sweet infection of love as a thin +' man swalloweth a tumbler of hot whisky pun. " Since the light of your face fell upon my! V [ sometimes feel as if I could lift myself up my hoot straps to the very top of the chur a steeple, and pull the bell-rope for singing-scho Day and night you are in my thoughts. Wl a Aurora, blushing like a bride, rises from i a saffron-coloured couch ; when the jay bird pi; 1 his tuneful lay in the apple tree by the spri house ; when the chanticleer's shrill clarl 1 heralds the coming morn ; when the awaken: ] pig arises from his bed and grunteth and goe \ for his morning refreshments ; when the dnra ' beetle wheels to droning flight at noontide ; a when the lowing herds come home at milk; . time, I think of thee ; and like a piece of gt . elastic, my heart seems stretched clear across r • bosom. Your hair is like the mane of a sor horse powdered with gold. Your forehead : smoother than the elbow of an old coat. Yo eyes are glorious to behold. In their liqt depths I see legions of little Cupids bathir like a cohort of ants in an old army cracki When their tire hit upon my manly breast, 1 penetrated my whole anatomy, as a load of br shot through a rotten apple. Your nose is frc a chunk of Parian marble, and your mouth puckered with sweetness. Nectar lingers 1 your lips like honey on a bear's paw ; and myria of unfledged kisses are there ready to fly 0 and light somewhere, like blue birds out of thf parents' nest. Your laugh rings in my ears lii 1 the wind harp's strain, or the bleat of the str I lamb on the bleak hillside. The dimples 1 your cheeks are like bowers in beds of roses, ; hollows in cakes of home-made sugar. " I am dying to fly to your presence and po: out the burning eloquence of my love as thrift I housewives pour out hot coffee. Away frc; I you I am as melancholy as a sick rat. Som times I can hear the June bugs of despondent [ buzzing in my ears, and feel the cold lizards j despair crawling down my back. Uncouth fear j like a thousand minnows, nibble at my spirit and my soul is pierced with doubt, like an 0 I cheese is pierced with skippers. " My love for you is stronger than the sme I of Coffey's patent butter, or the kick of a yeui I cow, and more unselfish than a kitten's fin i caterwaul. As a song-bird hankers after tt light of day, the cautious mouse for the fre. 1 bacon in the trap, or a mean pup for new null so I long for thee. "You are fairer than a speckled pullet sweeter than a Yankee doughnut fried in sor; '. hum molasses, and brighter than the topnot pit--1 mage on the head of a Muscovy duck. You at ; sweetened toddy altogether. "If these few remarks will enable y r ou to sf the inside of my soul, and me to win your aftfi I tions, I shall be as happy as a woodpecker ont I cherry-tree, or a stage-horse in a green pastw ; If you cannot reciprocate my thrilling passiot j I will fall away from a flourishing vine of life an untimely branch ; and in the coming year; 1 when the shadows go from the hills and tl I philosophical frog siugs his cheerful evenin' ; hymns, you, happy in another's love, can com and drop a tear and catch a cold upon the W ! resting-place of yours affectionately, H."