VARIETIES.

Cromwell Argus, Volume III, Issue 113, 9 January 1872, Page 3

VARIETIES.

The experience of life— What a fool I've been ! " It's all over.witli mo," a£ ;he pane iky said J when ifc was turned. Judgment is the throne of prudence, arid si- | lonee its sanctuary. Virtue is made for 1 difficulties, and grows i stronger and brighter for such trials. " I wish," sail a son of Erin, " 1 could find i the place where men don't die, that I might go i and end my days there." A policeman, fond of reading, told a friend I thatj for amusement, when oil' duty, he often I '' took up " a book. j The young ladies of Ron lout, New York, are | said to be organising a "Society for the Enj cmragement of Young Men Desiring to Marry." A pers m hearing that " time is money," became desir >us of learning how many years it would take " to pay a little debt of a hundred j dollars !" " Do you think that raw oysters arc healthy ? i asked a lady of her physician. "Yes," he rej plied, " 1 never knew of one complain of being ' out of health in my life." Washington Irving once said of a pompous j American diplomatist : —" Ah !heis a great I man—in his own estimation a very great man— I When lie goes to the west the east tip.; up." Above all thing?, avoid lashiess. There is j plenty to do in this world for every pair of hands j placed in it, and we must so work that the j world will be richer because of our having lived I in it. Justice. —A couple of barristers engaged in A j case were recently discussing the issue. "At all i events," said the younger and more enthusiastic, " we have justice on our side." -To which the older and more wary counsel replied: "Quite I true, and what we want is the chief justice on ; our side." Fat Men.—tt is a striking fact that most j persons want to weigh more than they dri, and ! measure their health by their weight, as if a man were a pig, valuable in proportion to his heaviness. The racer is not fat ; a good ploughhorse has but a moderate amount of flesh. ! Heavy men are not those whom experienced. : contractors employ to make railroads and digi ditches. Thin men, the world over, aic the j men for endurance ; they are the wiry and j hardy. Thin people live the longest. A friend passing alone; a village street was painfully bitten by an ugly dog. A single blow of a heavy stick, skilfully aimed, was sufficient to kill the animal instantly ; but the enraged ' pe lostrian still continued to pummel the corpse till but little vestige of canine form remained. At length he, was accosted with, "What are you about'.' That dog has been dead these ten i minutes.'—" I know it," was the reply ; "but [ want to give the beast a realising sense that there is a punishment after death." A surgeon states that one of his patients re oently had some trouble with a saw-mill, and ; got a piece of skin about, the size of a tea-saucer I torn from his hip. The surgeon grafted on the skin of a young rat, and iu ten day-; the cure was complete. The surface of the wound is 1 c ivered with a fine growth of hair, and Ihe ratskin seems to answer every purpose. The only iueoiivenieuce to which the patient is subjected jis from cats. On several occasions, when sitting I down reading, he has been put to no little alarm and inconvenience by having the house cat l spring suddenly on him and fasten her teeth in , tnat portion of his pantaloon;-, which immediately .•covers the transplanted rat-skin. The terriers, also, sniff suspiciously at his heels when he : walks tile streets. We ' ! o not vouch for the accuracy of the above. We simply give it as told to us.—London Fign-ro. Bulus That are not Jui.su. —Whenever the i paternity of a bull is uncertain, an attempt is j male to father it upon some unfortunate Eme- ■ i raider. Yet it was a Scotch woman who said ! that the butcher of her own town only killed. I half a beast at a time ; it was a Dutchman who said a pig had no ear-marks except a short tail , ' j and it was a British magistrate who, being told . by a vagabond that he was not married, rejsponded. " That's a good thing for your wife." i It was an English reporter who stated that at a . j meeting of the British Ethnological Society Wee r| exhibited " casts of the skull of a certain indi- - I vidu.al at different periods of adult ire. to show i ! the changes produced in ten years," though Dean ; i Swift mentions two skulls preserved in Ireland, > j one of a person when he was a boy, .and the other ' i of the same person when lie had grown to be a ' j man. It was a Portuguese mayor who emim n -- ia'ed am >ng the marks by which the hody of a f drowned man might be idenHiiel wken f.umd, ";i marked imp-: Hment in hi« speech " Ft was: ' the fam ms Calino. the Kronen iVi le Rxho. ■ wh>>, mi conlente-lly lavin •; his !i"id on r, sUw,?-. ' jar f.>r .a pil! >w. r* died t> one who inquovd if i 1" " .vas :vrt rather ha,-1, " \o> ataV. :'->,• i'v ■: stuffed !it with !nv " It was a Wos'—.'n a;nlo", win, warning with Ids subject, e I'd i»-1 isnot a man, worn in. or child iu 'he house who oas' j arrived at Mr i-g- o| !vV vc >'■■•. !,„• -vhat h;s ,! felt this truth thundering prrue.h their minds I for c'nmries." !t wis a VI-m -e editor wir.* f I said that n rcvrrthbi in Mn-r p-.yv so large "i.ht m-nre-mid *rvy.vl >' -i ptve which is «rdv r .,nil'"-l bv i.rr'- ■'' rr-^'^r fifrbosaw sfl ,■': ,-,f ;,i.fovi? tic - I -'■- i :! «" '*<* -.v.-.«l.! «.h»U< rMth:.:-. rf »Vm