Affection for "Valuables."

Cromwell Argus, Volume II, Issue 98, 26 September 1871, Page 6

Affection for "Valuables."

[John Peenjb'mjle iu the Weekly Times.] Who wouldn't fool for the writer of this advertisement? —“Wanted a friend from home with valuables. Affectionate welcome ■ will be given. Ajax, —Argus office.” Touchling, isn’t it? Wanted a friend from homo i with valuables! Affectionate welcome! | What would happen to the friend if he turned |up without valuables ? I remember many years ago, a man I know had made a little more money than ho wanted himself, and so ho went home to ’England to spend the remainder of his days among Ids poor relations. He’d lived at Geelong all his life, and wasn’t I what you might call a lively chap ; but stiil : there wore the makings’of a joke in him : and so when he reached homo by the celebrated | A 1 clipper ship ‘ Linconshire,’ he roused out I the shabbiest clothes he could lay hands on, i and looking as miserable as a bandicoot, made for Ids married brother’s house in the cool of the evening. The family were having tea, when the strange and seedy looking man walked in, saying to the gent of the house, “Don’t you know mo, Jem ? I'm your little brother Bob, that used to be ; and I’ve come | back home as poor as Lazarus. I’d rather j starve among my own flesh and blood than 1 out there in Australia.” When lie said this ! the artful rogue twigged his brother’s wife ; kicking him under the table ; and presently j she got up, lays hold of the kids, and goes i away without saying never so much as a word, ! When she was gone, Jem says to Bob, “Well, ! you see, Bob, wer’e uncommon glad to see l you, and all that sort of thing, but really a I man with a family lias no right to help his re- ; lations, you know ; however, come in some I evening and have a cup of tea.” Thereupon ! Bob went out, and his affectionate brother Jem didn’t see him any more. He looked up i an old friend in a poor way, and spun the 1 same culler to him and hut wife. When lie I had told Iris yarn, the friend turns to his wife iaud says,“ Sally, my dear, just send round ! the corner to the beef and ham shop for a ! pound of the best, cut thin. Get a new loaf j too, and a quart of porter. Likewise make I a bed up in the little parlour for Bob, and I make him comfortable.—Bob, old man, it j does a fellow good to see you. Hive us your | flipper. We’re poor, and rather hungry here I sometimes ; but if you like to sham oar huiujtr, ! why damme, Bob, you're welcome, and that’s | plain,” Next week Bob'sel that man up in I business: and his brother Jem never left off ■ grieving that he hadn’t spotted “the valuI abies.”