Jocular Jottings from Bannockburn.

Cromwell Argus, Volume 2, Issue 89, 25 July 1871, Page 3

Jocular Jottings from Bannockburn.

Shaksperian motto for an unlucky quartzreefer—" I'm not i' the vein."

When is a young bride like a feeble old woman ? When she is u week-old wife. A CVaadestine Affair—The Massacre of Glencoe.

Money is tight in Cromwell, so it is said. This no doubt will account for business being so slack. A plain, matter-of-fact man wishes to know whether the expression " to embrace mother earth" is in any way connected with the expression made use of by sailors when they speak of " hugging the land." A young man inquired of his inamorata how a sewing machine worked which he had presented her with some time previously. " Very so-so," was her witty, but unsatisfactory reply. The following conversation lately occurred between two miners. (It must be borne in mind that Charley can't read, and Ben can ; so sometimes Ben has to read the news to Charley):—Charley : " What paper is that you're reading of now, Ben'?" Ben : " This is an 'Arrow Observer.'" Charley: "A Narrow Observer! That's a rum name to give a newspaper, ain't it! I should n't think that chap takes a very wide view of things."

There is a man in this district who has acquired quite a " sheepish" look, through having been so frequently "lambed down" by the publicans.

Force of Habit.—The writer knew a man in Victoria, who, when in the old country, had always followed the occupation of a rivetter. Soon after his arrival in Melbourne, lie entered the matrimonial state ; his chief reason for so doing was, as he said, that he " must have something to hammer."

By constructing a road to the summit of the Carrick Range, the shareholders of the Royal Standard Company have conferred a lasting boon on the miners of that neighborhood, who, as they wend their toilsome way up this steep and circuitous track, seem to look on it as something more than a demonstration of the poet's idea, when he sang, " A-way, a-way, to the mountain's brow."

" Learn to labour and to wait."—The "beloved one" of a miner (for some reasons mayhap connected therewith) has promised to marry him when the new Cromwell courthouse is built. Poor fellow !he has complied with the first part of the above aphorism, but I am afraid his patience will be sorely tried in endeavouring to fulfil the latter part of the injunction. This is what may be designated "hope deferred." Lately, during a conversation amongst a party of miners touching water supply, its scarcity, and consequent high price, an old resident (one of those sarcastic individuals belonging to the order of " dry old sticks," " sly old dogs," &c.,) remarked that the publicans of this district obtained '' a higher price for water than any of the race-owners." —There are some people that are very dull at perceiving the point of a joke. For instance, the latent humour and meaning conveyed in the above remark did not appear to my slowly appreciative mate until we were on our road homewards, an hour or so afterwards, and just as a prowling cur had bitten him in the leg. The joke having passed out of my memory, the startling fact of a man bursting into a hearty '' ha-ha," and exclaiming " very good," under such painful circumstances, appeared to me at the time to be quite unaccountable. A Common Topic.—Old Parr lived to the great age of one hundred and fifty-nine years. This venerable individual used to occasionally i affirm that his was "no common ago." The writer is of opinion that should any inhabi--1 taut of Cromwell attain to a similar period ; of longevity, he will, in more senses than one, (have cause, like Parr, to cry "no commonI !lge ' A visitor to Cromwell would bo apt to j think that the site of the township had bsen chosen by some malevolent individuals, with a malignity of forethought, and a prospective glance at the future discontent and vexation its selection would cause to the miners of the district. The feelings of Tantahw in his wellknown trying position would not l><- an inapt illustration as descriptive of the mortification experienced by numbers of miners, through such a large quantity of gold having been rendered unattainable hy the position of Cromwell township. Not long since, I heard some one ambiguously ascribing the discreditable state of Upper Melmore-street to a shortness of "metal." Notwithstanding this remark, it struck me at the time that there really was a natural disposal of underlying metal more than sufficient to compensate for the artificial wants of the surface, only, unfortunately, it would be perhaps necessary to j displace the part to be benefited l>3fore the " one thing needful" could be obtained. Moleskin'.