JOCULAR JOTTINGS FROM THE BANNOCKBURN.

Cromwell Argus, Volume 2, Issue 83, 13 June 1871, Page 5

JOCULAR JOTTINGS FROM THE BANNOCKBURN.

A Hint co Convalescent Miners.—lt would! not bo inadvisable for miners coming under I the above category, and seeking for sumo I suitable place to " sot in," to take the Arrow / unite (Arrowroot.) w *^^^j/

A Painstaking Mali.—The medical profession must bo a very invploasant one to follow. Dr Corse says, that hi'his endeavors to euro his patients, he alwajt takes pains. Signs of the Tiniest— Public house signs.' In easu of a foreign! invasion, this district; will, no douM, be enabled to send forth its quota of defenders ; fltr has it not, like the old country, it's " monpf. Pipeclay i" The man who described his feelings after a night's debauch, by saying that he felt as if "he had boon shot at, and missed," also remarked, that it would take a bottle of square to bring him round. What musical instrument mostly resembles ; a badly conducted hotel l —a violin, (vile | inn.)

Cockney Wit.—A certain inhabitant of these parts, who had been reading about Gustavus' Adolphus, asked : Why is a native of Sweden like a jockey I (his birthplace is evident from his reply.)— Because ho is a Norseman. The same funny individual spells brandy with three letters: N. S. E. (Heunessy.) \ Is it permissible in a man who has been sitting, or lying down all day, to complain of being tired I —Decidedly ! For he may be tired not with standing.

As a natural deduction, it appears obvious, that when a digger obtains a prospect, be must have something ii\ view. Query.—ls a man liaMo to contract lameness through bathing Its feet in a limpid stream ] \ . A Warning Note.—'June hummed or whistled by shanty-koepep, when a certain vigilant police officer is In' their vicinity : " Castles in the Air." Taking into consideration the tenuity of the amount that will fall to this province for Water Supply, as compared with the magnitude of the different schemes projected,—one is apt to indulge in the idea that there is a disease prevalent amongst the miners, namely : —Water on the Brain. What's in a Name ?—A friend of the writer is in a miserable state oV incertitude as to his nationality, his surAame. M'Corinick, (Mac or Mick) not allowing him to determine with any degree of iertainty whether he is of Scotch or Irish descent. Curious Advertisements. A Cromwell Boniface advertises as fol ows :—" Best ac- ■ commodation for visitors " '' Pretty fail liipior." This is rather con fusing. Who art those that the "pretty far liepxor" is in- ! tended for ( Not the visiters, certainly, foi I they get the "best accommodation." Per' I haps the Cromwell people a»o not considered visitors. lamin a fog. Andthcr one says In "is determined to give value for money.' This is, evidently, a man of I resolution, anc one not to be trifled with. I should In afraid to take a small nobbier in that house 1 for fear of the landlord fiyinL' into a state o I virtuous indignation, and sum Warily ejecting

mo irom ins premises, i sliant go there. But the strangest one of all islthat of a man cook, who wants a situation "lanywhcre out of Cromwell." Wliy not anywhere out of ;this world? This despondine individual I should be looked after. Tlie aiant Despair | seems to have seized him, and I who | but he might follow the accustomed bent of ■ his calling, and be after cooking VoQicbody's goose ?