American Products & Manufactures

Cromwell Argus, Volume I, Issue 36, 20 July 1870, Page 6

American Products & Manufactures

The following amusing sketch, contributed to the Canterbury Times by a Dunedin resident, shows how New Zealanders, with a sublime indifference to their own y interests, assist in developing the resources ul of America : m “ I lire in a house covered with Ameri- L ? can weatherboards, closed with American C 1 doors, windows, and locks, lined, floored, and nailed with American timber and nails. I wear American boots and clothes, n made with American sewing piachines. My linen is washed in an American Wash- V . ing machine, in wat# drawn through an [ ’ American pump into an American bucket, rinsed in an American tub, wrung with p t an American wringer, fastened to the dry- K, ing lines with American pegs, and mangled fu with an American mangle. My clothes Ik are brushed with an American brush ; tlfei l el time is indicated by an American clock, a •, I am taken to town by an American coach, 1’ driven by an American man. I wish to j| T invest in tools, a tent, dec. I got a tent of American duck, an American axe, saw,HH r and spade; and lam strongly recommended Sl to get America agricultural implements. ||p ( I go to the tinsmith to get tinware, he Bei8 ei tells me he makes it with American tools and machines. I return home to dine, | , | lC thinking America a wonderful place. I sit on an American chair to take food that J s has been cooked in an American stove— Jit have American early potatoes, and top up 1, with a pie made with American flour and ( ] American dried apples. I ask why native if apples are not used, and am told they If' won’t grow j the trees have got the Ame- S ricaa blight. Servant comes in, sweeps the fff room with an American broom, and takes the dust up in what they call an American tulip shovel. I hear an extraordinary ""-pf whirring noise ; ask what it is, and am in- . formed it is an American sewing machine. Bridget informs us that she has the toothache, and that mistress’s baby is very ill. . Ask what remedies they use; am told she. "j; takes American Painkiller, and baby takes Mrs Winslow’s American soothing syrup. ji^ ( Casually remark I don’t feel well °myself, u and am recommended to take American - ( j sarsaparilla or Ayer’s American pills. In e p the evening, thinking to get rid of America, Igo to the theatre, and find they are play- in j ing “ Our American Cousin.” Leave die- t gusted and think I will hear a song. Am horrified to And I am listening to the American negro serenaders. Heartily sick of America, I determine to have supper ’!' K and go home, I go into an Ameriem ect/e; get American pickled salmon, and butter that was made in an American churn. After this I give in, retire to my domicile, l " r0 throw myself into a seat, light a pipe, take "i® up a paper, and find that lam sitting on 11111 an American rocking chair, reading Ameri- * e ; can jokes, by the light of an American lftl lamp, filled with American oil and wick, $. av smoking American tobacco, with my feet ;16 on an American stove, expectorating ala NOX American. Finally prepared for bed ; 31111 take my boots off with an American bootjack, and go to sleep on an American bed- ?° u stead, where I dream that lam in America 13 —and I don’t think it should be wondered I? 1 ' at.”