HOW TO WIN HIM.

Clutha Leader, Volume IV, Issue 188, 15 February 1878, Page 7

HOW TO WIN HIM.

-* Eliza,' said a fond mother to her offspring recently, as that offspring was about going forth in to w of a young man who worships the 'very sidewalks she walks upon, ' Eliza, go to the breadbox and eat a good big crust bf bread before you go out.' ' Why, maw,' replied, the blushing girl, *** I don't feel the least bit hun gry : W 7 e've only just had tea.' 'I know it, but you .will, be hungry before you get back, and? when Adolphus takes you into the' J re'staurarit' you'll, eat, ice, cream and sponge cake, and ham arid 'sandwiches,! and, oysters enough to scare him out" .of 5 a year's growths -You, silly girls doh ? t think of this, but we experienced women do. I was once young and giddy; my«6lf, and •but -for sixty-five -cents * worth ".of* maccarroons — a cake for which I haye 'ever since entertained the most profound contempt — your paw would have -b^en a Congress man, with an aquiline jribs'e and Hyperion's curls. Beware how you sit down on the budding', flame of. Cupid. Of course Adolphus will spend

the money you save him on billiards and things, but that makes no difference. When be asks you to go in and have some oysters, don't. Say you do not approve of girls wasting' the money of tbeir future husbands on trifles, when it might be applied towards furnishing a house. Point out that for the cost of an oyster stew you might purchase a couple of towels, now that towelling is sa cheap, andthata Saddle Rockroast is rhe equivalent of a silver fork — piated, of course, but not easily distinguished from solid silver — or a glass sugar bowl. This, always takes theyoimg men; it sets them to thinking of 'housekeeping and matrimony; it makes them believe that you are the incarnation of economy, and would make an excellent, wife ; and so they often say things which give you a , hold over them, or au effective before I a jury.' Eliza treasured up these sagacious counsels of the authoress of her being, and acted upon them with such earnestness and effect, that when she came borne she was an engaged woman. — Chicago Tribune