A BAD FIT.

Clutha Leader, Volume III, Issue 156, 6 July 1877, Page 3

A BAD FIT.

A Balclutha storekeeper having a week or two ago executed an order by a ploughman upon a celebrated station not twenty miles distant, the following was the reply received : — ■

I received your parcel all right with the things I ordered. Everything is exactly as I wanted ifc, with the exception of the trousers. There seems to be something wi*ong with them somewhere. They appear to be of very good material, and I have no doubt would be very comfortable in stormy weather, but they have their "drawbacks." When I. button them up to the top I have a difficulty in getting on my hat. In fact I have to leave the upper button

I unfastened so that I can see out, and when I go to breakfast Lhave to take i out two lower down. It is rather awkward too when I want to put my hands in the pockets, I have, to stand up on something. I could not get on my boots until I folded up the legs, the 1 parts turned up coming a long way above the knee. This would make them warmer, but as they are not the same pattern inside, they give me ; rather a variegated appearauce. My mates have been executing a war dance around me, and Dick, our principal comic singer has been singing the following ode in celebration of theevent: — Thore cam' a man doon fiao the moon, Doon frao the moon, doon frae the moon, There cam' a man doon frae the moon, And tliey ea'd him Aiken Drum. Ho played upon a hullo, a ladle, a ladle, He played upon a ladle, And his name was Aiken Drum. And he ate up a' the bawbee baps, Tho bawbee baps, the bawbee baps, He ate up a' the bawbee bap-, Aud his name was Aiken Drum. Jerry says, " Begorra, Aiken, but they are too big for you entirely." And I believe he is right. I see they are marked size 6, which is evidently a misprint for 60, and I was only 37 last birthday. I believe that's what's the matter. Jim, thephilosopber, says "These pantaloons must have been constructed before the Moa bird became extinct." But no common ploughman can understand what he says. Jack says I ought to cut oft' the spare bits from the legs, and put them on for sloeves to them, but I have some misgivings about my appeal ance in them in public. I think I will rather take Rowdy's advice and use the spare bits as feed bags for my horses, I enclose a measure so that there may be no mistake next pair you send. String No. 1 is the average lengh of my legs ; No, 2 is the girth of my body (outside measurement) after dinnei*, (roast jimbuck and dough, without raisins, aud no &c, &c).