Aacetiae.

Clutha Leader, Volume II, Issue 94, 27 April 1876, Page 7

Aacetiae.

" A little nonsense now and then, Is relished; by tho wisest mon." >— *r-n — 'r-,. What sort of attention does ono usually meet :with at hotels?— lnn-attention, : "What part of speech ,is most diatastoful to Lovers ?— The third person. -'The coat of a horee is the' gift of nature, and that of an ass is of ton the. work of a, tailor, A Dutchman summoned to identify a stolen hog, being asked if the hog had any ear-marks, replied: "Te; only 'ear-marks, dot' I 'saw vas his tail vot vos cut off." _ Someone says that tho music of the Chinese i* deliciously horrible, *—." like cats trying to sing bass with.sore throats.", '..''; 7 Marriage : The gaterthrough which tho happy lover leaves, his enchanted visions, .and returns to earth. ;'.:.,. A Eentuekian thinks he . haa attained tho height of human nappiness in the possession of a wife eight feet three inches tall. "Jack, how do you like the rector's daughter?' "Don't know j I've always seen her drunk." " What ! tho rector'sNlaughtor drunk V "Noj i.» A- ."- -\J-Jy •■ , A It's a curious.incidont of matrimony, that if you tell your wife^-to* get-up and the' 'fire, she exhibits hor dutiful obedience by. forthwith proccedin'g to firo up. , yi "My dear Murphy," said an Irishman to a friend, " why. did you botray that secret I told - you ?" "Is it betrayed that you call it ! Shuro whin I found I.wa.sn't able, to kapo it mesilf, . didn't Ido well to , teU;.lt7to : some, person that > could kape it ?" . ... ; .-..,? .;" A couple of countrymen visited London for tho first time.; and on getting out at Victoria . Railway Station, , they .g?zed 'around for Bomo time iii silence. At length one said to tho othor, •' I never see tlio beat of this aforo ; did you ? , The road is. aU fenced with houses P Felix M'Carthy, of . the ; Kerry Militia, wa3 generally late on parade. " Ah,' Felix," said the » sergeant, "you are always last !" "*' Be aisy, Sergeant Sullivan," was liis reply ; shuro somo one'must bo last.'.' !' : ' -A. A" JJ . "Olv grandma," cried 'a- mischievous little urchin, ** I cheated the hens so liicelyjuat now I I throw thorn your gold bonds, 1 and tlicy thought they were corii, and they ate them upas fast as they could.?' A * n A TOPER'S -SoidtOQPY.7 • Leaves havo their jtimo to'fall, And so", likewise havo ,1; A , The reason -too's • the same — „ ... Both, conies :of getting dryV<" But here's the differenco^twixt ti|em,and me, T falls "more *arder and more frequently. A German pedlar sold a' niiihW liquid for tho extermination of bugs.;" AndGow do you uso it ?" inquired tho mah.after|; lief H^ /bought it. "Ketch do bug, 7 and dro^yon^ittieLdrop into his moutj" ; anewesedtUo tftediar. A* The deuce you do!" exclaimed; tho p'urchaserA'* I could kill it in halfLthatHima. liy'sSmping. on it.* *' Veil," said fclio German," redeet|vply," dat ia a good vay, top." „ , L 'A A AT ]':'-.. -.-

A siniple^obking country jad.io ;^Kose lot fell the- leading ' 'questions 'in tbV' Catechism, to "What is your r name7il.? ? replied, A*'Carrote !" " Who gavo you that namci^^.'^il the boys in the pariah,; ; ,p!r,^ Lw.hmingly, answered" the red" haired urchin." <--,- A >'A: ■■■■'"■'- ■ A'"

A lady a!ttended ; % 'celobrated surgeon who lives near a skatin« r rink,. and jwhoA has ; many cases of spvaincdjAyrists^iThollady'sLvisit was about her sprained wrist,-,'! V I suppose"/ a case of ;rink ?":said ithegurgeorj,; blandly 6&tiUhgt J ?The lady^did'tipt oatch^ho.word oi^its^njcanung, and indignantiy"exolairaed,^No, sir, I do not drink I"

A day'-or ago'^when 5 a .ybupg 'jnan entered a 'Detroit la wy e'W office^ to.c ajbuil^. jaw |; |hd practitibner sat down^beß/4ojl4RJr7W ( i' said£ « Now, V see here, 1 havepo ti^eitolfooL'away, and if you/ ! don't'pan oat well-^Jllwoa^^keep-yoStlfere thirty A , days. Do you; want *"te ' mktiP a igo*otilJa^yer 2"*' "Ypp, sir." ; :t^#,^g^^^^|^olit B :to^ dispeople, be'oalise. they^have *Bb good to the boys, beoause they are growrhlg up#D a cash basis. , ?Work in Go to, chuTCb t jfor^ s tl^a T Ba}cpYof ; p^rif^ta.^fl)on'fc 7 fool* imyti&dAaWay^b^^ look at a; girl until you c^^^^^'iji !s■<& •■ : can follow these" instnictio^ If you Wudt,jgp;todß.ea:^ kill your best friends.'^ of a police-court the other m^ing A Al'nVah pbse^ observationisj* ls^tait >is itKat #! looks around ;irutli^al^nig«i^^ i A Wheii j%*s& of JBr^fqrd^ra? WvtgkiW^Q^ l^va;^^cei|oriLl^ ■ammio%^ 77A:AAAA^p^^^fg^^^^^M ir Anfattorney-ihavmg dieoUm-poisrfiirau&ta^^^ 3Pe.o£his-inendß^^^