UNKNOWN.

Clutha Leader, Volume II, Issue 63, 23 September 1875, Page 7

UNKNOWN.

C " .Kttle nonsense now. and then, ! , r . e^#^^hf>iß^mfen.'^ JJ Q j " A kind word spoken to a husband [will go further thanXbroomtsick or a ; Ration/ says a. woman . ofi experience. ;■ Titian says' ''the SandWiS i Islanders-are generalises unlettered as ; the other'side^of a" tombstone. v ! Professor of Rhetoric.—" What imiportant change came over Burns in the I &tter pi^of fc'is life | died.'* . «l j King- Gdmba^bfiAirida^has made use of the new cable to say toyßoston, j " Last. missionary heen to-bakei gather ; thin -j» send'sometliing ,? corpuleriM^ ; «If I should die, dear, where J would ! you go?" ''.Go?--. Go after your: ; insurance money," was the reply of a (fond wife. ' i Teacheg-f-" Peter,^you arejtaoh; a bad boy that you are not fit to sit in the : company of good boys on the bench*. ! Come Up here and sit be me, sir." A tailor who, in skating, fell through the ice, declared he ,-vouldsnever again leave a hot goose for a cold duck. A New York paper says, " Keep an eye out for the early resumption of payment," to which a Boston paper responds, '^Botlr our eyes are already out looking for it, and so aie our elbows." : A gentleman observed to a friend the other, day, "How much Joa Simpson's attempts at wit resemble an electrifying machine?" " Indeed, how" so V 1 "Because they are s ) shocking.'* " Small j thanks '■ .to you," said a plaintiff to one of his., -witnesses, "'for what you said iri-the case." " Ah, sir," replied the conscious witness, "but just think of ,^hat I didn't say*"A country doctor has had his portrait painted, and a local critic declares that you can feel saws and' things rasping oyer your bones, and taste calomel, blue pill, and quinine as, you; look, at it. - • Artists have adopted different em-y blems of charity. We wonder none o/ them ever thought of a piece of indiarubber, which give»'more : than' any other substance. - >.y A Mormon female seminary was recently started in "Salt Lake City, which succeeded very well until the male principal leloped with and married the whole school. Allowance. — "Can't" you make any allowance for a -man's being- drunk V said' the judge, " hi allow you three days' imprisdnmenti" IT " I must marry .that girl," said a disconsolate " young^ man. "She whistles, and .it'll, never dp to -trifle with the -affections, of a .girl, that whistles.'"' ' '„'"' C '"' The people of Kansas 1 , #ho had been reduced nearly to starvation by the ravages of the grasshoppers, have cheerfully adopted a, dance, which { they call " " the grasshoppers cotillon!" A Californian matrimonial arlv-ertise-i ment winds up as follows : " Fortune no object, but>shoiilcf< reiqfuire the gal's relations to deposit ,£^QO,^ith.me,,as security-for Her * good^eHaviorV, ' ' '" ' '" ' Two young princes26f Austri'a'eHte'fed into a violent quarrel, .w,hen one of them said to the other, "You are" the greatest ass in YiennaV'^ Ou&t <then the Emperor, theii; jfather, entered and said indignantly, " Come, come, young gentlemen, you forget that I am present." -& On a Boston tram-car a boy made a sudden grab amdng"*the straw, cauglin something^ ; and ;l as jhg, v sj;raightened up he inquired, ""'Who lost' a^'fifty-cent. piece-." y ; Sevenj^men (held ppt.it.heir hands to him, and four wanted to,, , but felt afraid. There waa a painful pause"' and then the boy unclaspeWHs'Wands and exhibited ar.pant, jbuttori. The seven men suddenly. r sank "back to meditate, and'the 'otne l r Ji four indulged in winks." Azy TpE Ruli^no Passion Stuo^o m Death,— A pertain coal-miner who had been a ' rioted pigeon 'fancier was attacked .by a: lingering! 'dtssa&? would certainly end yjnJiis dissolution. The clergyman m JnVparish freQuently visited ttm/tiir&tinV falm frigate for the coming ch'an'ri;e] v find;to the good man's great sWpt/^eUpw^ seemed earnestly t(T attend to bis "exhortations. Hi^mihct appeared to dwell with delight ojathe bliss that waa to be his when Ins soul had left the poor n fratl b 4 ody, ; #np\- hejngver^oujjl talk snfficiently of it. On one occasion ha said to his kind rt So am gang to dee ?" " I think sd. my good lad.'' ■ » An> baSS aSg«EP3 M4opa so c^J f^s9i"^M£ ifiv $mW "I believe so. '^An' will 'eejdie ioo? rr " Y^mfMßffl.'& o ™Wt % an luk hear,