Facetiæ.

Clutha Leader, Volume II, Issue 54, 22 July 1875, Page 7

Facetiæ.

The feature bf the -period. —Cheek. When is a newspaper the sharpest 1 —When it is filed. \ Why is Canada like courtship;?—, Because it borders on, the ITni ted .States. | A dangerous character.--- A man who '• "takes life '^cheerfully, x, ; r --.-*,.• *;y.- ...... j ■-Whfen.rthe tax-gatherer is. Welcome to : call qn us.rT-Byei^r other day. r The fellow who slept under ' " the cover of night * complains that he , came very near freezing. A lady lately had her likeness taken '• by a photographer, who 'executed it so wellrthat her husband prefers, it. .to. the original. f "" [u ,J * ; "Do you drink hale in ; America ?" asked r ; a cockney. 7 ," Hail ? .no ?, . .wp drink thunder and lightning," said' the' Yankee. ' ' ' ;r: : :f " "Guilty" or not guilty ?"~ asked a Dutch judge. " Not Guilty !"//" Den, what do you want here ?' Grd about your pisiness." -:.,:•,.... ;^ ;;y • ...Artful.— r A. confectioner who, 12 months ago, taught his parrot 'to : 'say " Pretty creature !" to every -lady that entered his shop is now . a millionaire. -, It is maintained that the ' most' inspiring hakiral sight ' which- '&} glazier < can contemplate is the gleam ;i qf early day breaking: through the windows. Ah itinerahj;; preacher, 'who Gambled io his : sermons,, when, requested to stick to his JA text, replied, v " thaV scattering ■shotVould' I fii l i'^heiho¥t?u^s; ?, ' ,t A witch j ;. heing- at; rtheM stake to be burned, saw her son there,' and desired liim io give J bef sonie 5 " drink.; V • VINO, Mother," 'said 1 he*;^ it-, •would do, you. •wrong, for .the drier you are the better ' you" will burn/"" ■ '*"•>' ■'- '/T.'T/DO.rj ) " 1 •tfbuld'db anything' to gratify you,; I.woul/l^gq ; .to,,the, en:d,..qf the world , to please you,"' said to'" fervent lovertb the object bf his 'affections.-— • /A;Well,;.;Sir,.gp these, and, stay^. l. shall b3 pleaged,".,. / ' .' ' ' / " ' ' ,; '* * ' * : " if rAi 11 Mr Smith, you said you once officiated in the pulpit — did you mean by that that you preachedT^3^d,'iSfir; I held the -light for. the .-man < { who did pr^cli,"/ ♦ < A^the feourt understood you 'differently. ■*'• Tliey supposed that -'discourse came directly from you" *' No,. r sir ; r .l.only. r l^rew a %ht on it" Not so Dusty.^fn ! Pranc f e they call grey hair " a little- dust from the road of life^w^hicj^.is.certainly very poetical. Tsut wfibn'yo'il'WnW^aUttledust from the road of HFe. " in your butter, the poetry vanishes at once. 7 ..^ :, ; op«v3sgu\ fiat tferaaeT!)s;aid : site .toother day to a ' was'-'praiiiiJ^tfr beWties^bf 1 his itnou-; ;>{i., Stache. \^^qr^eaj-vjg's Ba^ei'''mii f a*ai^ y / interposed an old "skipper, don't 1 make / that monkey /S?^r than hei^'.yyyy^y^