WSunngisms.

Clutha Leader, Volume I, Issue 9, 3 September 1874, Page 3

WSunngisms.

A young man at a musical party be.n{s told to "bring out an old lyre," brought l out his mother-in-law.

Incos, — A «af! says that "machinery wheels aTe generally so modest tbat they travel in cog." When is a ship like a scarf- pin ?— Wheu it is on the ho?om of a he ivy trweli. : When a Jock is wound up it gees. When a firm is wo tid up it stops. A very t uch hu-baud told h a wife thty couldn't flgr cc. and must divide the hous-?. " Ver% : well," .j-id she, "you can?akp the onts.de.'*

Fire Exti guisbers -—Coal monopolist**. The first .aw of gravity. — Never laugh at your own j-kes.

It is one oi the curioskie* of natural history that a horse <?a a best when he has not a bit in his mouth.

Natural Phenomena .-—A dandy on shore is disgu--tinsr to many ; hut a swell on sea is apt to siqken everybody. .

A young ».'oman, beiti-. a-dced by a politician, which party she wis most in favour of, replied that t-he prefeired a wedding party. Query. — What' kind, of cattle do t-*ey have in the north? A m'tn. there advertise* that he v wants a woman to iroa, and milk one or .wo '.owe."

Try it.-r-'- Wh.it's the nse in these dayt* of try ins *o be honesr?" exel limed a grumbler. *'0-i, you ought *o try it once, and see, " t> t irte I one'o'f his com pa, nous

Mr. Justine Page was renowned for hisharshness a-<d i-.-rocity. on the bench. While sroint; the circtib, a facetious ia-jvytr, named Crowle, wa*» a--ked ' if the jad-te was not ju*t b-bind ?' * I don't know,', said Crowle r ' but I am *-ure he .lever was ju-u before.*

O »c of tht- bo s, ! wole reaJm,' a chapter in Genesis, pau-td ».o a*k his mo-her. whether the boys in o.deo liw* u»e J to do their sums on tbe ground.? It wa-i di.-ctiv-.-red that he hid b-e.» rcadi*. „ -lie pasg.^e, " And the (•on? of men i.uilt plied od the face of t'-f t-ar b.

A Send'.t. <•■ E Mtor.*— T ; »:. pursuit for infovmario'i =8 -cmt .tmu-s- attended with ibffianltie--, even in Sati F.a.,ci*<co. One inquirer, *.v*h<* «•-» And to H,u '■■ Coror_i._.ie ,r fif >rimrnuv'i*** so w - .--_ C-..'n obtained his wif.\ ise>u !l> rebuff .1, the only reply vouchsafed him he in-., t-.ia: — •* Upon any subject -,f a public nature wii ucvtr refuse to throw the de**.ed H-ht. But thi-j is altogether a d flfi-reu. thinpe. —It ia a ■araily matter v. i. b vsh'i.b •-**<_ t o not care to meddle. Ciia dud.'-oine' rm?- btfore any of- us were -on., avid -men idle euiiomy le'-ardin^: V. c laini.y aifai ■■» ot a rieceased

• r.-on we .V^ard as r» pre >ens»bi<-*, and calculated to * ioUte t.t.e *-in:u.i'ies oi do-

; ic stic life. For thtse r^a-'ni**, and because we donut wisu- to tinjute the -feelings of the r<?lafiv(B oi the dtce^ed, wo decline to ai.-swer ihe qi'tstiun." ■ Frankl.n A-kiDtf for Work, — When a y^uth, Frank in eriteed a printing office, an i.enq.i el i'_he coidd "s>-.• t einplO) meut. '• Where ar- you froTu?*' toreman.- '* America. " was the reply. *'Ah, " said ■he louma' , *ffom:Aueiiia l A lad. from Anii-rita fttking ein|)io ,uitnt,<ts a p;iuterf W -11, do >ou ready uu.<,:.c»B;a,ud the ait ■*<< jioiug? Can jouxi aily t-et type?'* Franklin -iepped up ru'oiie o£ the cases, a d in a v.eiy lu-i.f s-peceo-- tWe set up the lollowin-2 iiastag.- liom' tae ti'r*»t chapter of J i'u : — l Kaiuauici sub- unto hm^canafiy go-id -tiiri c->M.:e out id I\ l -Z«r.-.th l ?;PhilJp said uutoh in; ciwnt au.; •.&.■.''•. It. waswone ku quickly. r u, se'-ur-it'.'y-.'aosl contained a t'edcate jei.ti-idao a.pui, .•■•,' •«-. aud.powerful, th^t i. :<t *:«c.e gavr'; .dai character and s-taridinsi vifb ad tlie < tii<> . '■■'■''

I A .laconic ..'Ut-'se'rif-iib.^ G* v **iau ou^ht to be sent out To'h-ctiir.- aur- •!»;.•/. sue people on .'temperance:--— -''.l saH;.f.l • y-.itj, how.it van. I drank nu.-;e-J«ier.; ;.d •>..-! pat : mine hand o.a mine. h<.*i..' ottd ,U*_rc u.<.h vone pain. Den 1- put Hsirie band. o\\ '?..ji be body, and dere yo^i.-iiuH'-er pa -p. ..Den I put mine hnitd in tvinc pocket, ••■.id dere* was noting*. 3o I ]'•'<• iin.d de detnp'/Hikv*. .* Now dere ish ho pai'i '.nore in nvi-e < -.-:d,-and depain in my bod ? ■ras all # b; ,t v t-.y.; s I< put mine hand iiio inine;.'ro*.*k.f-t;; ;! .'-d.'dej:e;Vas 20 'dollars , X, f *-*»y Tiiifi u<? u-vniperanct*. " Obiginal AN''.Coi)Tfi..o-? J-oitD Jbpfket. -— Some .J s.ty w'iiity.v'.ar:-. ago, wh n tbe late 'Lord J ff iv v/:am •?.'!. jVncate, he oc« ca-JonaUy ' \it-:>. '.'DR-y-r:*.- ■■ a professional visit. Ot-'o-*^ Oftca«ftn-»i-...e was -employed . todefend ... .u-,vpccred,"-4"..5ii(-.;j of.,the'.: burgh, whohad in .; c-.p.e in 'wliio.hr.he Incorporat* d FJehers .of ,Di?hr -vhi jry.cre..; conccmedj -jpnktn of .t''>«'j> ir., nn style. Th, y <)# wtfri ■ ; h ? - set ion of damages against the -„. %U -aM, V-, tHe/enhihd that he h*d appU-d ..to 'h^A-fhrdae which -*ouuded very like rAe^ords u a -pack of swindlers -" -'■ Mr.h.m<y admitted in court .hat bis cL:iit had UHeijjangu ( age, very like 'wh^was.a Vtf.ibu?ed \g> bhu i7T Amo&ge which he (the karn<^ ; -co...^i)' .oust f alldw was' not quite *wrtta»&' pij „ : ,ki .perfectly cor?.eet fhd^yn^.-fi die adfr carry on a irhfßc in j%_-, b.t*( -hi' iiiie carcases-of sheep at dra tie, *- ; i.. bebtjir id-say that they dwelt in Bwiine w?.s .-^ar^y true? but he sub-•mirted-that'.the ie.-ithet mpifohiOf sunnedealers.wf.Bz, veiy.'HtfV^pt; thing, irom " a pack of'swiudl.-r-V and he trusted , the jiuy would, see this j-o- bt* t&e- case t/ andli'6norably acquit the dSfeiidev "or eH intention to libtl - the hoabrab.e-tf c Cor pof^ti6n**of Flesbera. ; Tber pre>'er. f at d^iil theihg*aioueadvoeate •-'- --was-so platifeibie in ;it^lf, and.so icleverly pleaded, jthat; the?; jujiy^^^^p^ his ver* sum of the case, {oupd : t;hattli£re. waa noth.ng lib llous. in, .^ dealers, an d. at o ace retujjied a verdict of .acquittal. " •*.' '•"-••"*« t '> «■•->>_..-' pny^-, „£^jn^ « Weiy -whatygbing okt6-^f** l^^«n^ exclaimed Jerrold^ darting-w ist the inquirer '.-. -r-." " ' ■'■ 'J' y'iy"Jy;-,