Random reminder

Press, 13 February 1986, Page 14

Random reminder

Point made

He hated cats. He disliked their aloofness, the remote yet calculating way they stared, as if they could see into his soul. He mistrusted their ingratiating purring and rubbing against human legs, because he knew that it was just an act, played solely for the rewards of food or physical comfort — nothing to do with a love of mankind. Give him a dog any day; A dog was open and honest — a good mate that helped a bloke work his sheep, or to take hunting and fishing; but he could see no earlthly use for cats. Bert was the family moggy. He tolerated Bert, because the wife and kids were so fond of him, but expressly forbade his presence inside the house. Bert quickly learned to approach the back door with caution. If Father’s boots were on the step he beat a hasty retreat, but if his slippers were there, Bert stalked inside with all the dignity and confidence of a laird entering his castle. When Bert had kittens everyone was surprised. He had seemed so masculine. Father was full of impotent rage as he watched Mum and the kids exclaim with delight.

Bert’s kittens were not very bright. It took a long time before they realised that it was unwise to sleep in Father’s large, carpet slippers at the back door. Daily, there could be heard a roar of fury and startled yowls as the kittens fleed for safety. Father had had a hard day at work. He heaved a huge sigh of satisfaction as he donned his slippers and sank into his chair in front of T.V. After some time the family began to look askance. “There’s a rotton smell in here,” chorused the kids. “It wasn’t here before,” said Mum, as she looked pointedly at Father. He examined his clothes. Nothing on them from the sheepyards where he had been working. Nothing on the soles of his slippers. He took them off and inside discovered the kittens’ revenge. The extent of his disgust and anger was matched only by the hilarity of his family. The kittens had long since gone to good homes, but Bert’s inscrutable stare is occassionally tinged with amusement as she glances at Father’s slippers before she stalks inside.