Reporter’s diary

Press, 25 January 1986, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Wallflowers NOT MANY people would have a rose bush they can comfortably sit under with plenty of head room. Isabel Eden, a Sydenham resident, inherited this iceberg rose bush when she moved into her house four years ago. It has probably taken the bush 17 years to grow so wide and high, and it often reaches the roofline. Many cuttings have been taken from the big bush and given away. The bush reaches halfway down the wall and is about 2.7 metres thick. It blooms from October to June, and is now in its second blooming of white roses. If there are frosts in June, the flowers are tipped with pink. Mice SOME computer users today have mice in more ways than one. Recent newsletters of the Kellogg Farm Management Unit at Lincoln College have mentioned the problems some users have with mice. In computer talk, a mouse is a small, sophisticated device that can be used to call up information on the computer screen instead of having to key in an elaborate set of instructions. Some time ago, the Kellogg . unit

received a query from someone who had a mouse in the computer., They wanted to know what to do with it. Easy, said the reply: "Move it across the table in front of your computer, making sure it is correctly connected through the cable, and watch the arrow move across the screen.” No, came the reply, the mouse is in the computer, not beside it. The mouth of a computer’s disc drive is just wide enough for a real mouse to squeeze through in its quest for a warm bed. Mouse intruders can cause trouble when the power is turned on, or when they turn to the insulation and wiring for a good chew. Mouse’s urine can also short out parts of the computer. The answer, says the Kellogg unit, is to make sure you have all your discs backed up, the disc doors shut and the cat set up with a bed next to the computer. Signs STICKERS on a car in the Merivale Mall car-park showed the way that language can be interpreted in more than one way to make a person’s position seem ludicrous. On the rear windscreen were “Nuclear Free New Zealand” and “Legislate

Now.” On the bumper was “Atomic Skis.” Lawyers’ ad A GLOSSY, multi-coloured brochure of. properties for sale has been published by a recently-formed Christchurch real estate agency. It contains a beautiful and eye-catching photograph of the Provincial Government Buildings from across the Avon River. The buildings are not listed for sale. Underneath the. photograph is the name of an old and respected legal firm and its partners. No reference is made to the buildings or the court activities conducted inside it. Three officers of the Canterbury Provincial Buildings Board executive committee met recently and discussed the photograph. A former board secretary thought the lawyers had no right to use it without official permission, and that a protest should be made against commercialisation of a historic public building. The present secretary observed that there was no harm in the lawyers practising on the river lawn shown in the foreground. The third participant said that he had found a pair of panties there that very morning, .and - asked if that was legal practice. The former <

secretary, both a lawyer and a female, said: “No, those were their briefs.” Consumption A NORTH Canterbury farmer’s wife ended up doing the accounts recently when her husband was down with the mumps. She did the best she could to sort out the bills and help the farm keep its good credit rating. One day, she noticed something amiss when she went out to feed the pig from a special bucket kept for him in the kitchen. She poured his delicious meal over the electric fence. As the pig snorted and snuffled his way through the scraps, the woman saw an unopened brown envelope in the midst of the dinner. Instead of wading in, she decided to leave the pig to it A reminder notice would surely arrive some day, when she would discover what kind of bill she was watching go down the pig’s hatch. When the account payable notice finally came, it was from “The Press.” That story reminded our switchboard operators of a call this month from someone returning from holiday. The caller wanted to resume consumption of the newspaper. —Stan Darling