Random reminder

Press, 24 June 1983, Page 22

Random reminder

A gentleman who works at a large public hall is in no sense prejudiced against Christians. He would not employ, dine with, live in the same suburb as, offer a seat in a bus to, accept the time of day from, shake the hand of, or allow his sister to marry, a Christian, after all there are limits, but all-in-all, by and large, he is a tolerant man. His tolerance extends not just to Christian'youth but to all youth, even as far as the degenerate louts and sleazies, grotesquely costumed and hideous of hairdo, who recently accepted an invitation — a Christian invitation — to attend a rock concert — a Christian rock concert — at his hall. Our man’s view of rock music is that even if the musicians’ mothers had devoted their immoral earnings to a musical education instead of gin, it would still be difficult to listen to and he wishes it were impossible. For some of the hopeful arrivals it was indeed impossible. The appointed chamber was too small. Quantities of disgruntled youth stood around calling down maledictions, ignoring Christian invitations to go elsewhere to be morally uplifted with lantern-slides, and making lewd suggestions to the hall staff, many of whom asked if they could finish early and rushed over, giggling. Our man was less than gruntled

himself as he worked toward midnight to clear chewing gum from the flagstones and roaches from the ashtrays. A figure approached from a deserted street. He recognised it as one of the wretched Christians whose organisational genius had blighted his evening. Bless him, brother. Would he help in a time of trouble? The Christian’s motorcar had been left ... just there. Underneath the sign saying PRIVATE. Beside the notice reserving all parking for the XYZ Co. Close to the warning about instant tow-away. It had not been towed away. It could not be driven away, either. The gate was shut. Ho ho ho, said our man, who happened to work shifts for the XYZ Co. Rendering unto Caesar, are we? The Christian offered penitence, repentence, and pieces of silver. Sorry, lied our man. I can’t do anything, he explained truthfully. We have to lock it because of undesirables. The key has gone home with Maakona. Oh, said the Christian. Come back tomorrow, said our man. At half past six. That’s in the morning, a.m. of course. Oh, said the Christian. Don’t be late, said our man in an entirely friendly manner. Otherwise they WILL tow it away.