RANDOM REMINDER

Press, Volume CV, Issue 30962, 19 January 1966, Page 32

RANDOM REMINDER

BOTTLE NECK

How to ride a bicycle was the subject of one of the most diverting pieces of literature ever produced in New Zealand, but it was of course somewhat unnecessary. Because nearly all New Zealanders already know how to ride a bicycle. But only a few manage the exercise with the particular skill and old-world grace of a friend of ours. He is an experienced and accomplished bicyclist, who manages to lend an air of culture to nearly everything he does, but particularly to the pushing of the pedals. On southwest windy days, he is a Valkyrie, swift and proud. On the still spring mornings, he might be an Oxford don. his mind on other matters. And so it was a matter of some distress to all who knew him when he had his misfortune in the Colombo street bottle-neck about 1 p.m. one day when the traffic waa at its height And all

this is being recorded principally for the benefit of Professor Buchanan, who ought to be made aware that the helicopter does not necessarily see all. The thing was that our friend was cycling along with his usual athletic grace and was approaching the lights at High street after leaving Cathedral square. He paused, being a law-abid-ing sort of citizen, for the amber and the red, but with the green, he discovered that he was unable to go forward. He also tried going back, a trick known only to men of experience, but in this too he was singularly unsuccessful. And he discovered that the right cuff of his trousers was firmly enmeshed in the chain. The traffic snorted by, honking, as he stayed there, an island of indecision and unhappiness. Because he was so firmly held that he could not even dismount. But his instinct

for survival came to the surface, and he set off for the safety of the pavement, much in the manner of the hermit crab, or paguroidean crustacean. It was not easy, it caused him considerable discomfit and embarrassment, but it drew little attention from the swirling traffic or the bustling pedestrians. He made the sidewalk. But he was, if safer, little better off. It occurred to him that he should take his trousers off, but on reflection decided that he was more likely to be summoned and fined for that than for causing a disruption of vehicular or pedestrian traffic. He did notice that while he shuffled sideways the light* changed four times.

He was freed of his dilemma by a soldier who simply seized him, and the bicycle, and managed to revolve both parties in an anti-clockwise direction. A point here for Sir Peter Phipps. This should really have been another job for the Navy.