FATHER’S PART IN CHILDREN S LIFE

Press, Volume XCV, Issue 28263, 29 April 1957, Page 6

FATHER’S PART IN CHILDREN S LIFE

‘"The Press” Special Service

AUCKLAND, April 28. suggested that they should call on

Many New Zealand fathers were paying insufficient attention to the development of their children and were adopting a “Mother can handle it” attitude, said Dr. W. B. Barney, lecturer in education at Auckland University College and a former Auckland Education Board psychologist. Dr. Barney was commenting on a statement by the Lord Chancellor, Lord Kilmuir, who told the ■British National Association for Mental Health that, unfortunately, many fathers were a negative quantity in their children’s lives. Lord Kilmuir said it should be explained to the> father that his children need him right up to, and through adolescence, and he should be encouraged to take an interest in them and to give time to them. “If he does,” said Lord Kilmuir, “he will get his reward in the place he will hold in his children’s affections and in the time they will give to him when they are grown up.” Example Important “Right through adolescence both boys and girls will at some moments turn more naturally to their father for support and guidance. From the father's consideration and courtesy to the mother—or from the lack of these qualities—his sons gain an impression of how a man should behave to a woman, and his daughters an impression of the standards of behaviour which they should expect from men who hope for their regard.” Dr. Barney said it was difficult to generalise, but the statement by Lord Kilmuir applied to quite a fair percentage of New Zealand homes where the attitude of the father was that, because children were part of the domestic scene, they were the mother’s responsibility. Spare Time at Races Too often the New Zealand father’s spare time was taken up with gardening, painting household repairs, or football and races. It might be related to the 40-hour week, said Dr. Barney, that New Zealand fathers had to spend so much of their time laying concrete paths or doing other work around the house. But, even allowing for the amount of time taken up by work, there was a tendency for fathers to leave the upbringing of the children to the mother. Whenever a child with behaviour difficulties was referred to him, it was usually the mother who asked for assistance and brought the child along. Sometimes fathers could not get away from work to attend with their child, but even when it was

; Dr. Barney during the lunch hour i or after work few bothered to ■ come. i He added that if the father was • going to “crawl out” of his responsibilities, then he was not ; being an essential part of the ' family as far as his children were 1 concerned. “Should Be Told” 1 Mr L. Gray, lecturer in child ’ development at Auckland Train- ■ ing College, said New Zealand fathers were not. entirely to blame ; for neglecting to take an interest in the development of their children. ’ The fathers were not doing too good a job, but they were doing j the best they could. They needed ’ to be told how important a part . they played in their children’s development, and to be given assistance and encouragement to i help the mother to bring up the children. Mr Gray, who is also director of supervisor training for the Auckland Nursery Play Centres’ Association, said he knew of cases where the mother did not en- ‘ courage the father to take an in- ’ terest in his child’s training and development.