POLITICS MADE EASY

Press, Volume LXXIV, Issue 22521, 1 October 1938, Page 21

POLITICS MADE EASY

An elementary study in the science of election-winning. (SPECIA.IXT WHITTEN EOS THE PHES3.) [By WHIM WHAM.]

This is the Manifesto of The Father Christmas Party: Its Policy is simple and Its Meetings bright and hearty; No subtle tricks Of Politics At meetings bright and hearty! We do not claim to represent The farmer on the Land; - The Guaransated Price, in fact. We do not understand: 4 The Mystery Of f.o.b. We scorn to understand. Our Principles are very few. We haven’t got a Plan — Except to make a Millionaire Of every Working Man, Ensuring thus A Vote for us By every working man. We’ll buy the Farmer’s milk and meat At twice the market price: The farmer will be All for Us, And say, “How very nice!” He will not sneeze At selling Cheese At twice the ; market priced

The Fatted Few who live on Stocks And dabble in Debentures Will be assured of good returns On all their honest ventures: To the extent Of twelve per cent.. We’ll Subsidise their ventures! The Broker, the Solicitor, The Family Physician, On double fees with double chins Shall better their condition; Good men and true. It is their Due To better their condition. These are the mere beginnings of Our promised Legislation; A Plan is on the programme for Abolishing Taxation: O happy day! No one shall pay A penny in Taxation! Some inconsiderate Ass will ask. But who is going to Pay? We’re keeping that a Secret Till after Polling Day: 0! t that will be our Big Surprise, You’d never guess our Big Surprise; Just open your Moutft and shut your Eyes , Till after Polling Day!