WHAT’S WRONG WITH PROVERBS?

Press, Volume LXXIV, Issue 22521, 1 October 1938, Page 21

WHAT’S WRONG WITH PROVERBS?

| Memories of the Old Copy-books

IF all the copy-books which the school children in my youth so painstakingly filled with copperplate writing of proverbs were piled one on top of the other they would reach a considerable height. That is, at a conservative estimate, and provided, of course, that they had not previously been burnt, and that they did not over-balance.

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[By L. R. HOBBS.]

past Ashburton, in a hot and furious nor’-wester. Or try to tell a woman shopper that “Procrastination is the thief of time.”

Another good idea for the seeker after truth in proverbs is to ask a man in the throes of filling in an income tax return what he thinks of the phrase “Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.” Or ask the skipper of a trawler, grounded on a seaside bar on a calm night, what he thinks of the other one, “Still waters run deep.” Next time a traffic policeman hauls you up for crossing at Cashei street just as the red light flashed up against you, try this excuse, “He who hesitates is lost” and see if you can get away with it. But whatever, you do, in these weeks before the fateful October 15, avoid the awful words, “An empty vessel makes the most noise.”

The memory of these .maxims lisped long years ago at the teacher’s knee —or, in some cases I remember, painfully learned after a session across the teacher’s knee—remains with a man for most of his life. But such a changing world we live in, they don’t seem so very useful to us now. “Children should be seen and not heard” we used to be told, but that, of course, was before the _days of talking pictures. Ask any child what would have happened if that slogan had been applied to Shirley Temple. Again, in the coming election, let anyone go to an election meeting and try out the slogan, “Laugh and the World Laughs With You.” Let him laugh out loud just when Mr Semple is working up to a climax

So keen is my conviction in fact that our present list of proverbs wants revising in view of modern conditions that I append a list of some of the ones that seem to be wandering off the point. Here they are. ■

A barking dog seldom bites: Try this one on your postman. Or, better still, repeat it slowly to yourself next time you try to walk unconcernedly past an Alsatian. Silence is golden: • With Parliament and election speeches on the air, I suppose it’s almost treason to repeat this one. Think of the bright people, too, who get £3 3s for a 20minute broadcast talk. A rolling stone gathers no moss: I suppost that’s why the prosperous man in our street is a commercial traveller, who covers New Zealand. Clothes make the man: Think of Mahatma Gandhi and Mr Neville Chamberlain’s collars. There’s no place like home: The same builder built most of the houses in our street, and from the

in a pathetic story all about a working man before the Labour Government came in, and then see if . the world laughs with him. Or to test out the proverb, “It’s a long lane that has no turning,” let anyone ride a bicycle along the Marbnah road

upstairs window I can see nine places the living' image of home. Take a tour round the State houses.! Kind hearts are more than coronets: I’ll .tell you a true story about this one. Once upon a time there was a poor but very worthy young man, whose affections were fixed upon a beautiful girl, who was also being pestered by an elderly duke,

“I can offer you nothing but a pure and honest heart,” said the young man, proposing. “Choose between an honest heart and the empty bauble of a title.”

“I’ll take the duke,” said the girl

The road to hell is paved with good intentions: What about all the money the Main Highways Board has been spending on bitumen? No news is good news: Ask any sub-editor about this one. Think of the last, time'"you heard the art union results and your name wasn’t even mentioned. That was great news, wasn’t it?

Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you: And yet juries sometimes award £SOO damages for libel. And take it from me, it’s some hurt that needs £SOO as healing balm. A soft answer turneth away wrath; Try this on Mr Semple. An Englishman’s home is his castle; Repeat this one slowly to yourself next time you get. visited in the one day by the radio inspector, the man to look over the electric light wiring, the man on a housing survey job, and the inspector of nuisances.