HUMOUR AWHEEL.

Press, Volume LXIII, Issue 19161, 18 November 1927, Page 5

HUMOUR AWHEEL.

Traffic Officer: Hey, there! Where d'you think you're going? Don't you know this is a one-way street? Mr Cohen (in his new car) : Veil, I'm going vun way. Vat's de matter mit you? The Helper (to victim of motor accident) : How on earth did it happen ? Victim: You see that cliff? Helper: -Yes. The Victim: Well, I didn't! + Since the advent of Marcel arid Marconi Britain has been ruled by the waves. * * * Cop: Who was driving when you hit that car? Drunk (triumphantly): None of us; we was all on th' back Seat. * * * In' a contemporary a doctor tells readers what to do when run down. The best thing is to take the car's number, if possible. *. * * In a corner of that most beautiful of any city the world over, Auld Reekie, Jock noticed a purse lying on the floor of a taxi on the rank. He .walked over to the driver. "Laddie," he whispered, "there's a braw purse lying on th' floor of yer car.'' "Not too loud, mon." The driver beckoned ins informant nearer. "When things are bad I put an empty purse there an' leave th' door open, an' the number of braw laddies wno_ come for a drive —weel, ye'd be surprised 1" * * * Flub: What caused that collision today? Dub: Two motorists after the-same pedestrian. # * • Your grandfather lived to. 90 because he had sense, and so did the horse. * # * There is room for two hands on the wheel. No more and no less. * # * A man struck by an automobile fell on his stomach and rolled oyer on his back. "Nothing like a quick turnover," he said. * * * Unlucky Motorist (having killed the lady's pet puppy): I will replace the animal, madam. Indtignant Owner: Sir, you flatter yourself. * # * Passenger: Is the train running late ? Porter: Yes, mum. I don't know or any new arangements. if # * Officer (producing notebook) : Your name, please. Motorist: Alogsuirs Alastricyprion. Officer (putting away notebook): Well, don't let me catch you speeding ' again. Good health in children is impossible with worms. Wade s Worm Figs promptly expel the parasites. Wonderful worm worriers. All chemists and stores.