THE CHANGING SCENE.

Press, Volume LIII, Issue 15989, 25 August 1917, Page 9

THE CHANGING SCENE.

(By M.C.K.) The Ministers' Association paid a visit this week to Canterbury College, whore they were shown through the laboratories and the library and the hall. In the laboratories they witnessed "many interesting experiments"— enough, perhaps, to persuade them that they had seen the very headquarters of Archimedes Silverpump, Ph.D. —"Original man, Silverpump!" as Mr Bottles said; "fine mind! fine system! > T ono of your antiquated rubbish—all practical work —latest discoveries in scicnoe —mind constantly kept excited lota of interesting experiments— lights of all colours —fizz! Szzl bang! That's what I call forming a man." In the hall, says the faithful chroniclcr of the Ministers 1 Association's visit, "Mr Williams thanked Mr Adams for his courtesy, and said that many ministers had little idea previously of what Canterbury College stood for." One ought not to do it, but one cannot but speculate upon the nature of tho uncertainty and suspicions that the blue lights and chemical odours have happily dispelled from tho ministers' minds. They had wondered what tho building was for. It had no Sunday bell, and was indeed locked up on Sundays. This was suspicious, hut as nobody ever saw Largo barrels being rolled in, perhaps it was not very dreadful. But what was it jtob? And so they determined to find out; and now they know it is for the purpose of producing blue lights and funny smells. The C. J.C. people will Save less enterprise than wo have all imagined if they do not seo in this adventure an opporfor themselves. To the eye of !!?• ■" M innocent seeker after truth, the totalisator oould bo made to seem a machino invented by Madame Montessori to teach compound division sums to adults. If tho New Zealand Cnp happened to bo in progress when the Association named a day for coming, a littlo tact would enable tho ministers to seo that the Cup race was really cavalry practice, arranged with an eye to tho breaking up of trench warfare ■ in tho West. To the liquor trade I can hold out no hopes. It would bo usoless to attempt to persuado the Ministers' Association that tho bar was a Dietetics Laboratory, an<l that tho customors were demonstrators and students. For the bottle and the pintpot are . so inextricably mingled -with tho Association's philosophy of life that one glance would be sufficient for the visitors. The Liquor Trade would be wise not to invite tho Association to include tho hotols in their tour. THE PROFITEERS. J>r. Newman: What this country wants is a policy and leadership, but after three years' war we have not got oither. The members of Parliament do not know what tho Government's policy is. Hon. G. W. Russell: Win tho wax. —Report of Parliament. Hardly tho Parliamentary querist, Who Insto for someone's goxo About soma question of finance or Beer or tea, has couched hia lane® e'er He's bowled right over with the answer "Surely tho reason is tho cloarest: Wo have to win tho war." In rain tho Socialist and tho Tory, call For stripoß for things ill-dono; Vain all their questions shrewd and sinister* Idlo their efforts to begin a stir, For up hia sleeve tho happy Minister Has got an answer categorical: "fl'o, wo must smash the Hun." When critics clamour and abuse yon, all You need to tell such folk Is that they fail in lovo and duty; And when thoy think they've bowled a beauty You block it with a cool, bland, fruity "You cannot both hare things as usual And smash the Prussian yoke." But, when Krupp's guns and bombs and gases Afford a shield no mora, When peace arrives and ends excuses And Wilhelm'e swollen head reduccs, (Far peace must come, and that tho deuco is!) What then will say the Wards and' Masseys, Boft of their dear old war? "Mr Webb said that the men in tho gaols, being deprived of newspapers, had nothing to converse about except their own crimes.". There was deep depression in the gaol. Everyone had grown tired of hearing Bill describo his biggest burglary, and still more tired of his futile attempts to find a theory which' would explain why tho policeman happened to bo awake. The man who committed the murder hnd become a bore, „ and the embezzler found nobody who oould take any interest in his complicated method of cooking the accounts. Mr Webb's appearance was a relief, and they listened with 6omo animation to his preliminary observations on "Solidarity." There was not a single bloko in there for that: this, at any rate, was a now one. Was it done with an axe, or what? They all came closer, but when they found out that whatever "solidarity" was it was not what they thought, Mr Webb palled. Then the newspapers began to be . sent to the gaol. The results-were what one would expect. There was great excitement over tho first paper, which had several columns of its own and several other people's opinions upon Mr Massey. Day by day they read about him, and day by day their admiration grew. Thoy were not vary clear as to tho crime lie had committed, but it was- plain that he was a crook of crooks. Resourceful, too.. Every morning they expected to hear of his arrest, and every morning thoy cheered when they found that he must still bo Spring strong. They discussed him exhaustively . Bill was sure that he must hnvdi studied his, Bill's, methods of burglary. The embezzler claimed him as onto of his profession. The bigamist and .Jt-ho horse-thief quarrolled over which of these two branches of the crafi, Mr Massey would most adorn. Anr, tho final conclusion was that ho must have squared every cop in tho country. A crook of crooks. They read about the war, and they I all felt so uncomfortably virtuous by comparison with several of the peopio concerned that they had to refresh each other with the old stories of their exploits. Even Bill had an audience for a time.

But one day, the newspapers were withdrawn; they had resulted in the death of one of the prisoners by ruieide. This man had ,been an ardentRadical, and the strain of not being I® 0 w ritc long letters condemning the unspeakable Tories flourishing outBide was too much for him.

Sir John Findlay, although, eomI paratively a young man in politics, has already acquired those special virtues iof the politician—courage and out- | spokenness. This week he advocate 3 severe taxation of "the wool kings," and to the obviously startled House, which wagged its head regretfully over the spectacle of a young and promising member thus rushing upon political ruin, he explained Ims position: "1 didn't come into the House to put my ear to the ground and find out what certain people want. I say what I think right, and if they don't like it, then I can't help it." We others should not dare to say such a thing. In Sir John's placo we should remember that nine-tenths of the community are wool kings, and I am afraid we shonld somehow "think right" what the majority would "approve. "We shonld not dare to champion the tiny minority who are not wool-kings. But Sir John says straight out what Lo thinks right, and our country is happy in possessing a Parliament in which the majority are equally frank and courageous. Ninety per cent, of the electors, as is well-known, are in receipt of incomes of over £1000 a year, but how often do you find a member of Parliament so weak as to curry favour with this great majority by advocating that the burden of taxation shonld be borne wholly by the minority whose incomes aro less than the amount named? The answer is, Never. He "'says what ho thinks right." Happily the rash valour of these upright souls is rewarded bv Providence. For it always turns out that tho small and impotent minority wlio3e cause ho voices is really a great majority. Judge of his surprise and pleasure when he learns the real state of tho case! Ho goes to sleep happily, determined to "say what is light," regardless of consequences, still more emphatically on the morrow.