IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume L, Issue 14987, 6 June 1914, Page 9

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Pat —"Vis, sorr, wur-rk .is scarce, but Oi got a job last. Sunday that brought mc foivo dollars." Mr. Good- .- raan—'-'What! you broke the Sabbath?" " Pat (apologetically)-^"Well, eorr, 'twas wan ay us had *■*' bo broke."—"Boston Tran»cript.". •'Mrs.--Hiram 1 -Off en (seeking a cook) — "My. homo.is in tho oouutrv. I hopo. that is no objection." Cook —,No. mum; I'll enjoy a day in tho country.' —"Boston Transcript." '[ ■. Country Host: "I hope tho owls:/ didn't disturb you last night; Lady Jenkins?" AVifo of Local Mayor—r "Law bless you, no. I didn't anything. Which dog was it? — "Punch*" Lady (who has been remonstrated with by friend for giving whelks to her . baby): "I like you telling mo ow to - bring up children; mo as "avo buried seven of my own!"—"The Tatlcr.!.' - . Tho Mistress (indignantly)—" Jane, whatever did you mean by wearing my low-necked evenittg dross at the bjredrivers' ball last night? Really, you ought to havo been ashamed of yourself !" Janb (meekly)—"l was, mum; you never 'card such.remarks as tney , made."—"Tho Sketch." "You're very vbung to be left in. J charge of a chemist's shop. Have you ; any" diploma?" "LV-no—sir, Im afraid not, but wo'vo got a preparation of our own that's just as good. Lady—"Please send mo a. ton of j your best coal." Coal Merchant (justreturned from week-end in Paris) — "Yes, madam. Will, yoi^ havo them ».-; U' cart or coal do sack?" ■< ;;,' -. y.