THE SIMPLE LIFE FRAUD.

Press, Volume L, Issue 14985, 4 June 1914, Page 5

THE SIMPLE LIFE FRAUD.

AN ACTUAL EXPEBIENCE.

1| (By a Disillusioned Investigator ia tho I "Daily Mail.") I Not tho least insidious malady of tho § spring is that craving of urban and | very comfortable peoplo to escape from I what they aro ploased to call comH P-«'t-»es nnd artificialities into the freedom and ease of the "Simple Life." Aow. some years ago, *n ill-starred expedition into the couutrv infected mo with that samo delusion. It was mc of those days 0 f high spring when the country takes upon itself its amiable aspect, Thero was no mad and | no dust: tho hamlet to which wo I trudged was idyllicaily peaceful (a con- | d -*-°, n - vh ieh wo subsequently had to I conclude must hare been due to a i trance), and tho village inn gave: us an i .ed.blo lunph-an act of aberration. 1 Anyway, wo were deluded into the fer- % ™ Ur , t]iat hero at last was Arcady, and $ ™— ho:o - away from tho foolish, rests , , WOrld ft ro -°a--tic young couple: H «ouW mako a nest liko tho hummingte birds, count their long days liko beads, | and s - oro "P henlthv old age as tho t i squirrel stores nuts. And thus wo took j3j tin; ht.'e houso ou tho hill. |j THE HOUSE WE TOOK. li ,?_,?•"" _ r ."' as - little hoi,se mor o lovingly | d ? ' sc " d !.? 'ts builder for tho Simple I, «.i ZSe]t I her fi«3. electric light, drainM _f ' n f ''- dust -* 3ll destroyed the ameni--1 : ; les , of t nie , B »npl«city: and a super- | simplo plumber had disposed tho water % Pipes, in a joyous and archaic maze. § Our ono regret on taking that little « retreat had been that it was near no 3 running stream— most tuneful of alf ft accompaniments to the musings of fl simplicity. Yet hero, so soon as tho A v' I .' 1 t . r , frosts liffed > were °»>oks th » c sj babbled m tho very dining-room! And | tho imfelted roof of this littlo houso I was a trjiimuh of simplicity; in winter f| it prevented us from tho coddling 3 w f ar ". tn tha£ is turning tho mankind y ol JLuropo and America into niarmo--3 s ?, ts l in summer it gathered upon us Jj j all tno energising rays of the dog days • 3 i a . nd *" the Sales'of October it w*as «elfa detachable. | [ I can recall all our first raptures—

even tho thrill of tho .heading on the notepapor:— r Tho Vvondy Houee, Littlo Juterlv, Bucks. Station—Beechendon, 4 miles. To townsmen, staled by the Complex Life, there was something in that very address of tho Swiss Family T-oufrison. \nd then there was tho villase; and all those simple, kindly rustics who v ; - e re to bo our neighbours, friends, and instructors in tho Simple Life, who were to assist in tho trenching of our ground, tho supply of pure milk, tho lavim; in of coal, and th" maintenance of tho larder. And thero was tho Harden, immature as tho first rough •_ketcli out of which is to emerge that dream of a Pardon; tho garden wherein, putting aside tho world. I was to .ractiso that precept of Shakespeare '-.hat -'there aro no ancient gentlemen but gardeners." And all tho while health, the tranquil mind, and the hank balance wero to grow liko pumpkins. XO TIME TO THINK. Well, we lived through i_, so let the lead past bury its dead. Nor indeed could I lind words that would not become complicated themselves were I to unravel to you all the complications, physical, mental, spiritual, and finan"il. of the SiHiplo Lifo. Tho ono salvation of the SimrJo Life is that it i

■ ives you no time to think upon".. it, J and no ease therein to wonder at it. The tying down of the roof, tho diverting and damming of Old Nile in he hall, the construction of zarebas against draughts', and dugouts against tempests, the maintenance of lines of communication with the station, the guerrilla with the natives, the war with ho soil, and the problem of domestic service—for even Simple Lifers cannot cook meals while they fight Nature and man—all these occupations and tribulations save you from.morbid reflection. _nd, parenthetically, they save you also from tho decadence and boredom >f tho dweller in towns, from his artificial stimulants of the play, tho club, tho society of his fellows, the quick and varied movement of the streets, or that deadliest of all narcotics of the Complex Life, the ability to quit his own four walls for the hum of men—soothing and tranquillising as the beat of the scan on rocks —and forget his cares and iiimself. When I look back on that fretf-jl five years of the Simple Lifo I am gla<t •hat wo escaped tho worst syniptoirs of the Simple Lifer of to-day. 1 kept my hair short, avoided a purely nut diet, and neither wore sandals nor dressed my offspring in the manner of Syrian shepherds. "Nor, on those oc- ! casions when I visited London toamusf. myself with the spectacle of its fevered sufferers, did I walk down tho Strand self-consciously hatless and egregiously knickerbockcred. All those weary .ears I kept my town hat as a totem, and in tho darkest hours I could solace ny soul (and scare off the starlings) by •valkino; round tho lawn in it. And when the Simple Life became too complex for sanity, I clapped on my head that symbol of big cities and truu-jr-l lie four miles to tho station. In truth [ was never a true Simple Lifor. THE SIMPLE MILLIONAIRE. And no one is a true. Simple Lifer unless he is born to it. Otherwise he is at best a mistaken experimenter,-at second best a play actor, or at worst a hypocrite. For the only real Simplo Lifo is the life of luxury, or so much of luxury as our means will afford. The? sin-plo-t-hving of all men is the millionaire, because ho alone has tho ■n.ans to make automatic'all the emtio mechanism of living. He can oil all the wheels, sit on the spring cushions, and enfranchise* his mind. Hew different tho lot of that poor wretch, the philosopher, who must spring up from an essay on tho Simplo Life to see to tho boiling of a pot or to take in a chop from the butcher's boy! And there can be more horrible complexity in a cottage without a gas-stove than in all Park lane. I

It is a oleasing little foible of modern life, this toying with simplicity. It is liko the make-heliovo of the child who adventures against bears, serpents, and Indians, and is mightily £iad to remember all the time that he is safe in tho nursery. So you will generally Snd that yonr most enthusiastic Simple Lifer is playing his game with "». timo limit; he has provided himself with an avenue ot eecape: and oiuned somewhere on wattle*, of his hut aro tho return ticket to London and tho engagement for the dinner narty. . For we disparage tho Complex Life as men will sometimes disparage their dearest possessions. A spell of the Simple Life is a tolerable discipline to make us realise how much we have left behind. We revel in tho isolation, the primitive discomfort, the primal occupations as tillers or scullions, the rain and wind through the tent, the wrestle with coarse labours, tho munching of husks, tho hard bed, and the irritable j sloth that descends on a mind unrubbed by the world, because all the time we know that wo aro safe in the nursery. Suppose that, when the carrier brings him nis rc,\per In the afternoon, the Simple Lifer, sitting down in his shirt.leeres to read avidly of the world, wore to learn that the electrons of 6ome incredible sun-spot had shattered our Complexity: that all the sinews of telegraph, telephone, and electricity had been hamstrung by astral devilry; that the very nage he is reading is the swan song of that disturbing printing press;

that all his nervo-barrying machine of commerce, -society, and amusement* is melted into dull protoplasm . and that even his return ticket to J-ondon was only a relic—because railway's aro no more. Wonlu ho not probably still further .impltfy tho probloms of the SimDie Life by going forth and hanging himself?