“Where Did You Get That Hat?”

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 14, Issue 60, 7 November 1949, Page 8

“Where Did You Get That Hat?”

“Your account of the campaign against the hatless, reminds me of my first bowler which I wore on a trip to London to see the Oxford and Cambridge boat race,” writes Mr H. Sergant. “I went to the Chamber Music Hall in Leicester Square where a comic star (accompanied by the best orchestra in London) sang “Where did you get that hat” for my special benefit. The tiers of boxes where the jewels glittered, the pit and the gallery took up the chorus, the house was packed with students and their friends who recalled the singer again and again and repeated the chorus to a fare-thee-well.

I bought my one and only silk topper for my wedding. On our way to church the best man informed me it was back to front. I told him my brain was in a whirl and the hat was revolving with it. After the wedding I invented a long list of reasons for leaving the atrocity in the box and only wore it to funerals, where folks were supposed to keep a straight face. On the eve of my departure for New Zealand I sold it to a fish hawker for five bob to wear when he hitched his horse, which happened to be a rusty black, to the rustier local hearse. A friend of mine who was tenor in the church choir, had a bilious attack one Sunday night during the sermon. He dashed from the choir seats to the vestry, tore off his surplice and cassock and snatched a top hat from the pack but before he got to the door the climax came, one thing seemed to bring up another into the hat which unfortunately belonged to another man.

The tale is told of a Maori from the backblocks buying a hat- in an Auckland outfitter’s. “What size?” asked the assistant. “What size you take?” “6, 7 and 8,” said the shopman. “Well, you the little feller. You give me 9, 10, 11!”