PETER THE WHALER

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 11, Issue 86, 30 September 1947, Page 3

PETER THE WHALER

What ho, what he?, ma hearties. Well this a change isn’t it getting your Peter the Whaler column on Tuesday instead of Monday as before. Wasn’t it a lovely weekend? I had the old telescope rigged up and saw a number of you people sunbathing on the beach. I did the same and very nearly got sunburnt! I even went for a swim—a very short one. Peterkin went in with me and really enjoyed himself. He caught some fish too so we had fish for tea that night. What a feed! Butinsky stuck to grass and Butch wouldn’t eat fish so Peterkin and I ate until we looked like fish. All the pets are well and Butinsky has shaken off his cold so every one on the island is well again. Well I must get on with the story so cheerio for this week, P.T.W. TOM THUMB OF VIOLINISTS The smallest violinists in the world are to be heard, not in the concert hall, but in the fields and along the lanes. ' These midget ‘virtuosos,” not as big as our thumbs, are the crickets and grasshoppers, and although they are quite dumb they are among the best musicians of the insect world. Their instruments are their own bodies, the stiff wing-cases acting as the fiddles and the long hind legs as bows.

The short-horn grasshopper performs in a most artistic way. He has a series of small knobs like beads on his long hind leg, and he begins his recitql by drawing this rapidly backwards and forwards across the rough edge of hi& wingcase.

Crickets and long-horn grasshoppers, however, play by raising their wing-cases and rubbing them briskly together. One of the wing-cases has a sharp ridge while the other is'like a rasp or file, and the action of the two against each other produces a high-pitched note. The female insects are unable to play, but the males play tirelessly for their entertainment.

Further, the cricket or grasshopper is an accomplished ventriloquist able to throw his chirping note in many directions. Often, when we think he is hiding behind a tuft of grass on our left, in reality he is away over on our right!

This gift for ventriloquism often makes the insect very difficult to find, and we may search in vain until he gives himself away by suddenly leaping into the air. Flies, bees, and beetles are all musicians in their way, and we can hear them all over the countryside in the summer months. But if they were all formed into an orchestra Mr Cricket or Mr Grasshopper would be the leader, for in loud tones and shrillness he is the best of the bunch. RIDDLE POT Why has a dog six feet?—Because he has (four) feet in front and two behind. What word becomes smaller when two letters are added to it?—The word “Small” (smaller). Why is the letter D like a bad boy?—Because it makes “ma” mad. Which is the best way to cover a cushion?—Sit on it. ■ Spell a hungry horse in four letters?—M.T.G.G. What is it that a man makes, only a man can make, and when he does make it, it’s against his will?—His widow.

Round as a marble, flat as a pan, half a woman, half a man—What is it?—A penny. What will go up a chimney down, but won’t go down a chimney up?— An umbrella.

What is it that, goes upstairs black and white and comes down red all over? —A newspaper. Why does time fly?—Because so many people try to kill it.

When rain falls on the bank of England, why is it like a feast?— Because it is a bank-wet (banquet). When has a man always to keep his word?—When no one will take it.

What is the difference between one yard and two yards?—A fence. Which is the oldest wine you get? —The Elder wine.