ALGERNON’S ASPIRATIONS

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 11, Issue 78, 10 September 1947, Page 4

ALGERNON’S ASPIRATIONS

Algernon Tobias Tate, Did desperately abominate, His habit to eliminate, And failure to accentuate, The correct and cultured aspirate; Tobias strove with might and main, The correct verbal exercises, Full of pitfalls and surprises, Word perfect Algernon then tried, To take unto himself a bride; With fluttering pulse and knees ashake, Toby the maiden’s hand did take,

Saying with tenderness unfeigned, “Ow would you like to be renamed, Mrs Halgernon Tobias Tate?” Then discovering the broken plate, Said, “Your pardon' Lady Hi beseech, There’s a peculiarity in my speech; Han inclination to drop my braces, Your pardon hagain hi mean my haiches, Hin most hunfortunate places, Haiches umming like bumble bees, Hi’ll try again so listen please; • Dear maid will you accept my suit, With hall that I possess to boot, And hevermore become hunited, . Hafter we hour troth ‘ath plighted?” The maid smilingly replied, “Fair sir I cannot become your bride, Your peculiarity of speech, Does not place you out of reach, But it is just like this you see, Another man’s going to marry me,” “Halas!” Algernon sighed* and said, “That being so we cannot wed, But hi would just as soon be dead, Has try hay bride to win, By trying to beat my horiginal sin, Hof dropping the confounded haiches In the most hunfortunate places! H. SERGANT.