PETER THE WHALER

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 11, Issue 62, 4 August 1947, Page 6

PETER THE WHALER

What ho, what ho, ma hearties! Well how are the competition entries coming along-? I suppose verysoon there will be a large bundle of entries for me to go through. When I am going through your efforts I usually have all the pets around making a terrible din. But when ever I want them they are nowhere to be found. The cause of all the trouble is my old friend Butinsky and it is usually he who leads the others astray. He is a bit of a bad character. When they get into trouble which is very frequently I’m sorry to say Butinsky is all innocence. One day I had to crawl in amongst some blackberries to get poor old Butch out. Butinsky as usual knew absolutely nothing about his getting there. I found out how it happened a few days later. That lazy old goat managed to make Butch crawl in amongst the prickles after some very nice looking berries and when Butch began to eat them he wouldn’t let him out. Well that seems to be all for this time so cheerio until next week. P.T.W. RIDDLE POT Why is a spider a good letter writer?—Because he drops a line at every post. When are we all artists?—When we draw long faces. Why is a fox in a hen-house like a house on fire?—Because the sooner it is put out the better. What three letters does a school teacher need?—AYZ.

Why is holly like a clever boy? —Becauce they both have their good points. Have you ever seen anything in an empty cart?—Yes, plenty of room.

What do they use telegraph poles in Australia for? — keep the wires up, of course. What stands on one leg and has a heart in the middle?—A cabbage. How do you write to a fish?— Drop a line. Why did the razor-bill razor-bill (raise her bill)? —To let the sea urchin sea urchin (see her chin). How many twigs go to a bird’s nest?—None; they are taken there by the birds. What is the difference between a tight boot and an oak tree?—One makes acorns and the other makes corns ache. Why are good resolutions like fainting ladies?—Because they both need, carrying out. BUTTERCUP GOLD I’m walking on buttercups With gold upon my toes, And gold upon my petticoat And gold upon my nose; , And every little buttercup Has got a powder puff And each of them is sprinkled With the bright gold stuff. I smelled a little buttercup And oh, what do you think It dabbed my nose with powder (It didn't like it pink). I ran among the buttercups— Across the field and back, They shone my shoes with yellow (They didn’t like them black 1 ). I rolled among the buttercups Because I felt I must They sprinkled me all over With their bright & shining dust. I’ve gold upon my petticoat And gold on either sock, And don’t you think its kind of them To brighten up my frock. SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS A protractor is a person who builds houses. An omnibus is one which goes all by itself. “Darling” is feminine of “deer.” BOOKS TO READ “Forsaken,” by A. Bandon; “The Spy,” by B. Tray; “Abstainer,” by T. Total; “Health Breakfast,” by C. Real.

CRAZY CORNER A “TICKLER” Bobby: “Is this a camel’s hair brush mother?” Mother: “Yes my son.” Bobby: “But how does a camel manage to brush its hair with a little thing like that?” TONGUE TWISTERS

Robert Rowley rolled a round roll round. A round roll Robert Rowley rolled round. Where rolled the round roll Robert Rowley rolled round.