THE “GOOD ENDEAVOUR” LEAGUE

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 10, Issue 42, 25 October 1946, Page 6

THE “ GOOD ENDEAVOUR” LEAGUE

PETER THE WHALER - vf WHALE ISLAND 8

What ho, what ho, ma hearties. Shiver my timbers, it’s been nippy this week. When I woke up on Monday, . I found that my big toe was sticking out from under the bedclothes, and do you know sailors that it was almost frozen stiff.. I held to light the fire and thaw it out before I could get it working again. It was only last week that ■ I was talking about summer too. Butinsky has spent all his time snoozing in front of the fire, and starts to shiver as soon as he moves away. Peterkin, of course, is thoroughly enjoying the cold snap, whilst Butch sits all the time on the mantlepiece where it is warm, and tries to pick a fight with one of us. I looked at the calendar the other night sailors, and by Neptune’s eyeballs, Christmas isn’t so very far away is it. It’ll be upon us before we know where we are, just like it was last year. I suppose you are all busy thinking what you would like Father Christmas to bring you when, he calls on Xmas Eve. Just now, I am keeping my eye on my barometer in the hope that it will show fine weather for Labour weekend. No doubt you all have plans for Labour Day, and I certainly hope the weather is good. Cheerio till next week. P.T.W.

LAST WEEK’S COMPETITION

BEST JOKES Yo-ho sailors, last week’s competition was, I think, one •of the best we’ve had. I was simply buried in jokes, and some were very good too. This week’s tickets go to>Julia Morice “Is 'he really dumb?” “Sure, he thinks a football coach has four wheels.” “Isn’t that silly! How many wheels has it?” ■

A certain Earl left his home for a time and gave special instructions to* his steward, regarding his pheasants. The faithful steward collected the pheasant’s eggs, and wrote in a letter to the Earl:

“I have put them under the best goose in the absence of your Lordship.”

“It’s good of you, doctor, to have come this far to see my husband.” “Not at all, madam, not at all. I have a patient next door, and I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone.” Lorraine Roberts Sending her soh a Saturday morning errand, a village housewife said: “Now, Tom, take this basin back to the vicarage. Tell Mrs Fox that father liked the pudding very much: and say. I have washed the basin, but I believe it was cracked before. Oh! and be sure you say, “I hope your foot is better and does not give you much pain.”

The boy memorised the message, but when the vicar’s wife answered his knock he became very nervous. “Please, Mrs Fox,” he said, “mother thanks you for the pudding you sent, and—er—she hopes it didn’t give him much pain; and er—er —be sure you wash your feet, and she believes you’re cracked.”

Johnnie laughed when the teacher read the story about the man who swam the Tiber three times before breakfast.

“Why are you laughing?” asked the teacher. “Don’t you think that a trained swimmer could swim the Tiber three times?”

“Oh, yes,” said Johnnie, “but if he had swam it four times, he would have got back to where he left his clothes.”

Tommy: “Mother, today teacher asked about our families and whether we had brothers and sisters.” Mother: “That is nice of him to take all that interest in you. What did you say?” Tommy: “I said I was an only child.” Mother: “What did teacher say?” .Tommy: “He sighed and said, ‘Thank Heavens’.” • Gail Carpenter (The first two, Gail declares, actually happened). Recently pasteurised milk has been supplied to schools in this district. When my small brother returned home the first day .he had received milk Mum said: “Did you drink your milk today Bobby?” “No,” said Bobby, “I don’t like it. It’s paralysed.”

FOR YOUNG READERS ONLY

Aboard for the Goodwill Cruisen

One afternoon we were at a wedding breakfast. We were all told to save our drinks for the toast. After a few minutes my small brother said in a very low whisper: “Mum I’ve saved my drink but they haven’t given me any toast.”

Draper: “These are very strong shirts Sir. They laugh at the laundry.” Customer: “That’s right. I sent some there last week and they came back with their sides split.” Keith Watarawi Two ants were running' over tlie lid of a biscuit tin. Suddenly one of them stopped and said to the other: “Say, what are we running for.” The other replied: “Can’t you read? It says: Tear along the dotted line.” Two Scotsmen were sitting on a bank smoking and talking. Sandy: “Mclntosh, there’s no’ much pleasure ip smokin’.” Mclntosh: “How do ye make that out?” Sandy: ’“Well, if you’re smokin’ your own baccy you’re thinkin’ o’ the awful expense, and if you’re smokin’ someone else’s your pipe is rammed so tight it winna draw.” Congratulations sailors, you may collept your tickets from the Beacon Office with my best compliments. P.T.W.

NEXT WEEK’S COMPETITION

THEY ALL START WITH ‘C’

Well sailors, here’s a competition that’ll make you think. The answers to the following words all start with the letter ‘C’. For instance the first, ‘A Car’, could be Chevrolet. See? Righto, go ahead and see what you can make of the others. Free picture tickets go to the three best entries sent in. P.T.W. 1. A Car. 2. A Fruit. \ 3. A Vegetable. 4. A Sport. 5. An Article of Clothing. 6. A Bird. 7. A Fish. 8. A Tree. ,i 9. A Town. ' 10. A River. 11. A Country. 12. An Animal. THE FIRST STEAMSHIPS

You will remember sailors, that last week there was an article in the page dealing with the first steamships, which were assisted by sails. I have found a picture of one which is printed You will notice the masts and rigging which carried the sails. P.T.W.