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Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 10, Issue 6, 2 August 1946, Page 6

What ho, what ho, ma hearties. Well, here we are into August, but by the weather, no one would think that it was the middle of winter. That is, no one except Butch, who, as I told you last week lost all his feathers in the washing machine that salesman tried to sell us. He refuses to get up in the morning, and usually lies in bed until dinnertime, claiming that it is much too cold for him to get up, and that if he does so, he will probably catch pneumonia. The other day the postman brought me over a bottle of hair restorer and I am trying it out on Butch to see if it will make his feathers grow any faster. It must be very strong stuff. I tried it out first with just a little drop on the end of his tail. Do you know sailors that next morning jgutch had a tuft of feathers right on the end of his tail. He was rather pleased at first, but when he saw himself in the mirror, and saw how comical he looked, he wasn’t so happy. However, I will be giving him a good coating with it tonight, so perhaps tomorow, he will look almost normal again. Well sailors, I haven’t any more news this week, so I had better continue with the rest of the column. (By next morning Butch had a tuft of could write twice as good a column for the children’s page as me, and has offered to dictate one for me. You may, if he carries on with the idea see it in print soon, but don’t blame me if it is rather strange and disjointed.) Cheerio for now. P.T.W.

LAST WEEK’S COMPETITION OMMItTING VOWELS Not so many entries for last week’s competition, but then I suppose the competition was harder. You will remember that it concerned making sentences without using certain words. Here are this week’s prize winners, and their efforts:— Lois Jensen Who will come with me to the shop? Will you go to school tomorrow for I am going out? The dog chased the cat up the tree. / When we were climbing up the hill we saw a baby rabbit. Peter the Whaler of Whale Island. Pauline Cradwick Some inquisitive deer stood on the hill close to us looking in our direction. As this ham sandwich is mouldy you may throw it into a rubbish tin. There were some falls at the Hunt held at Taneatua on the twenty-sec-ond of June. If they wash the shed and we feed the pigs we can all be finished at the same time. : Sing that part of the hymn as softly as possible and a pleasing effect will be obtained. Margaret Mahy I could see, below my window, the big bird, evidently some species of gull. Its colour was black and brown with a patch of gold on both of its wings. The gull’s eye was on a fat grub a few yards away. As I gazed, the gull snatched up the squirming grub and flew away. It came back many times to feast at my garden and we became good friends. (Congratulations sailors. You may collect your tickets from the Beacon Office as soon as you wish P.T.W.) NEXT WEEK’S COMPETITION

Here’s a competition for next week that has proved popular in the past. It concerns making a lot of words out of one word, and the one word in this case is CONSTANTINOPLE. Right you are sailors, see what sort of list you can make up. Find as many words as possible which you can make out of the letters in the above word, but remember, no proper nouns, that is names of boys, girls or places are allowed. P.T.W. JOKES Murphy: “Can you get any distance on your wireless?” Jones: “Well, Pve had complaints from people living three . streets away.” X X X “Mummy, I believe that Bobby is losing his memory.” “How is that?” “He has washed his hands twice today.”

Neighbour: “How is that incubate# doing that you bought?” Mrs Brown: “I suppose it’s all right, but I’m a little worried about it. It hasn’t laid a single egg yet.” x' x x House Surgeon: “Anything important to report from the night?” Orderly: “No, sir—only that man who was shamming illness. He died!” (Four points to Pauline Cradwick for these rib ticklers. P.T.W.) FATHER MINDS THE HOUSE Mum’s gone away and Dad is boss, And we are feeling blue, The toast is burnt and he is cross, And we, like him, are too. Dad’s broken three of Mum’s best plates And blamed it on to me And as we’ve eaten all the dates, We can’t make cake for tea. When home at last our mother came, Thie house was in a mess, And though perhaps he wasn’t game We made poor Dad confess. “Six cups I’ve smashed my dear” cried he “And ten plates more or less, And never again will I keep house” Why—you perhaps can guess! Copied, Lois Jensen. (Two points for this poem Lois. P.T.W.) MORE JOKES Policeman: Madam,, didn’t you see me hold up my hand? Lady: I did not. Policeman: Then didn’t you hear me blow my whistle? Lady: I did not. Policeman: Oh, I might as well go home. I’m not doing any good here, x x x Holidaymaker: Didn’t you pack my liniment? Wife: No it was labelled “Not to be taken.” * x x x Husband: What’s.wrong with my razor? Wife: Surely your beard isn’t tougher than my linoleum, dear. (Henry Ross scores three points with these jokes. P.T.W.) Explorer, pointing to aeroplane: See N’Gumbo, there is big white man’s bird. N’Gumbo: Yes and if I’m not mistaken, it’s a thousand horse-power, radial, water-cooled Merlin job. XXX Customer: I want all the stale eggs you have, please. Grocer: Why do you want stale eggs? Are you going to see the new comedian at the theatre tonight, eh? Customer: Sh-sh-sh. I am the new comedian. (These two jokes of Chirley Cooper’s gain her.two points. P.T.W.)

ANIMAL BABIES

Animal babies are punished when they disobey their parents. They must learn to mind, as strict obedience is the only thing that will save them from the many troubles and dangers that beset the wild creatures in the woods.

Anyone who has watched a family of pups and kittens has noticed that the mother will correct and punish the wilful ones. Mother bears do not believe in spoiling their children either, and cubs who disobey often get an old-fashioned spanking that makes them howl with pain. All monkeys are mischievous creatures but there is a limit to the amount of mischief a youngster can get away with. A half-grown monkey which persisted in teasing the baby of the family was chased into a corner by its parents who held it and nipped its ears between their teeth. It behaved afterwards. A naturalist tells a true story of a pair of Japanese apes in a zoo who had a baby which, like many small boys and girls, bittei’ly resented being put to bed in the evenings. It ■\yould continue to play around outdoors and pay net the slightest attention to its mother who kept calling for it to come in. Finally the old ape, reaching the end of her patience, would rush out and haul the angTy, squealing infant into the wooden kennel that was used as a bedroom. Then a steady whacking sound could be heard while the youngster redoubled his noise, howling from pain instead of temper.