THE "GOOD ENDEAVOUR" LEAGUE

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 10, Issue 4, 26 July 1946, Page 6

THE "GOOD ENDEAVOUR" LEAGUE

'peter the whaler of WHALE .ISLAND

What ho, what ho, ma hearties. How’s the crew this week? Feeling much fitter than I am no doubt, (I’ve just been sorting out the entries to last week’s competition, and trying to pick out the four neatest answers. Whew! What a job). Butch usually offers a lot of bad advice but he has been very quiet ever since our encounter with the travelling super-salesman last week (you know sailors, the one that stuttered). Of course he has a very good reason for being quiet as you’ll read later. (It really helps me quite a lot when he doesn’t want to talk all the time but he doesn’t know that).

I was telling you last week about our encounter with the so-called salesman. When I opened the door, he trundled in a huge copper-shaped object, and with a grin which almost split his face in half, stuttered: ‘Th-th-this is a w-washing machine.” “But we haven’t any electricity,” I said. “Th-th-that doesn’t matter,” he said. “Th-th-this sort isn’t worked by electricity.” “Neither am I,” said Butch from his corner.

“I d-didn’t know y-y-you worked at all,” said the salesman. (Butch gave a snort and tried to look as if he hadn’t heard).

“All you do,” continued the salesman. “All you d-do is p-put your dirty clothes in the top here, p-put in f-four cakes of s-soap and a g-gal-lon of disinfectant, then turn the handle at the s-side here for several hours, and hey presto, sometimes your clothes come out clean again. N-now I think I’ll g-give you a demonstration. W-wouldn’t that b-be a g-g-g g-g-g a swell idea?” “No,” said Butch, who had come out of his corner and was watching proceedings from the top of the bookcase.

“I’ll s-start on y-you,”' said the salesman, and reaching up he snatched Butch from his perch on top of Webster’s Dictionary and before he could even ruffle a feather, plunked him into the top of the machine and slammed the lid down. This’ll do for liquid,” he said, and whipping the top off a large bottle of lemonade standing in the corner, he emptied the contents in. Muffled squawks came from inside.

(You can imagine how startled we all were sailors. , The man fairly swept us off our feet with his fast talk and faster actions, particularly with our last bottle of lemonade.) “N-now,” he said. ‘l’ll j-just t-turn the handle for a few minutes.” We watched horrified. “Th-there now,” he said, ‘Th-that should have done the trick.”

It certainly had. The salesmanr reached in and grabbing hold of Butch, pulled him out by one leg. Blow me under sailors, you never saw such a sight. He hadn’t got one single feather left. Not one. Butch was so furious that every time he tried to speak he choked. I could see there was going to be trouble, so I thought it was time I stepped in. “I’ve decided we don’t want the washing machine,” I said. “Oh th-that’s all right. N-nobody ever buys one anyway,” said the salesman. “Good evening. I t-trust you’ve enjoyed m-my visit as much as I have,” and with that, he turned about and marched out through the door, dragging his contraption after him. A little while later we heard a motor start up and the launch in which the salesman had come sped away from Whale Island. But lash my rudder, what a mess he’d left behind. Lemonade splashed all over the place, and Butch sitting dripping in one corner and shivering all over. He didn’t say a word when I offered him my own chair to sit on while he got dry, but I hate to think of all the things he said the next day. He’s told me now that it was definitely all my fault, and that as far as he is concerned, he and I are finished forever, or at least until his feathers grow again. (Actually he brought it on himself). Well sailors, I had better hurry and close now before I take up too mtich more space, but I thought I had better tell you about the incident so you will be prepared in case the same man calls on you with his new machine. Thinking back on it though, you know, it did have its funny side. Cheerio for this week. P.T.W.

FOR YOUNG READERS ONLY Aboard for the Goodwill Cruise

LAST WEEK’S COMPETITION RECORD ENTRIES Stew my seaboots sailors, I was almost bowled over by the number of entries to last week’s competition which the postman brought in the day before yesterday. There seemed to be dozens and dozens of ’em. Although they weren’t all totally correct, there was enough to give me a very busy time for a few hours sorting out the winners. Here are the names of the sailors who take this week’s prizes:— : ~

Julia Morice Colleen Boon Joycelyn Wylde lan Breward. 'Congratulations sailors. Collect your tickets from the Beacon Office with my best compliments. P.T.W. NEXT WEEK’S COMPETITION SENTENCES WITHOUT VOWELS Now here’s a new kind of competition for you to try your hand on sailors, and I can see that it will take a little thinking out. You all know what vowels are I suppose. They are the letters a, e, i, o, and u. What I want you to do is to make up five sentences, with each sentence ommitting one particular vowel. For instance the first sentence must have no letter ‘a’ in it; the second sentence, no letter ‘e’; the third no ‘i’; the fourth no ‘o’ and the fifth no ‘u’. This competition, I think, will really take some working out, and the brainy sailors will be the ones who win the tickets. P.T.W. MY MAIL BOX Dear Peter the Whaler, . ' I would like to join the Good Endeavour League. I enclose 3d in stamps. Here are my entries for this week’s competition. Yours sincerely, Jocelyn Wylde’. (Step aboard lassie. Congratulations on winning a prize this week. You sent in a very neat entry. Your certificate has been posted. P.T.W.) JOKES “Who was that on the plione?” the boss asked the new office boy. “Somebody rang up and said it was a long distance from Sydney, sir,” the boy replied. “So I said ‘Any fool knows that’, and rang off.” Manager, paying Jones hfs salary: “These notes are a bit grubby. I hope you aren’t frightened of microbes,. Jones.” Jones: “Not at all Sir. They couldn’t live on my salary.” (Two points to Charlie Peters for these jokes. P.T.W.)

Teacher: “I have went.” Is that sentence wrong, Johnnie? Johnnie: “Yes Miss.” Teacher: “Why is it wrong.” Johnnie: “Because you ain’t went yet.” Driver of lorry to driver of midget car: “I say your back wheels keep jumping off the ground.” Other: “Well, what of it? Can’t a man sneeze without you interfering?” Old Man: “I knew it. Its happen? ed at last! Oh I always said' this was going to happen to me! Here you’ve been talking all this time and I haven’t heard: a word .you’ve said. You see I’ve gone deaf!” Grandson: “But I haven’t been talking, Grandfather, I’ve been chewing gum!” (Shirley Cooper scores three points with these jokes. P.T.W.)