SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 8, Issue 42, 23 January 1945, Page 7

SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS

NEW COLLECTION

The Viking Press of America brought out. its first edition of "Boners f " a collection of schoolboy howlers, in April, 1931. The volume was so successful that an enlarged edition, "More Boners" was published in the following April, and a further one, "Still More Boners " appeared im 'October of that year. In 1941 : "a Pocket, Book of Bom ers" came on the. market, and has had 19 reprintings, with fresh additions. The publishers claim that of the hundreds of howlers that constitute the new 1944 edition none have been manufactured for the occasion. I Among those listed in the publication are the following: An eavesdropper is a kind of bird. Gorilla warfare means when the sides get up to monkey tricks. . Sirens were in the middle of the ocean. Nobody could come near them they made so much noise.. A Protestant, is a woman who gets her living through an immortal life. What are rabies, and what would you do for them? Rabies are Jewish priests I .should do nothing for them A skeleton is a man with his inside out and his outside off. A tonsure is a priest shaving his head instead of cutting it off. Yom Kippur was a general in the Japanese army. The Scarlet Letter griped me intensely. Correct: The bull and the cow is in the held. The cow and the bull is in the field. Ladies come first. Q: What kind of a noun is; trousers? A: An uncommon noun because it is singular on top and plural at the bottom. Napoleon dispersed the rioters with a whiff of grapefruit. Harold mustarded his men before the Battle of Hastings. General Braddock was killed in the French and Indian war he had '5 three horses shot under him and a fourth went through his clothes. King Alfred conquered the Dames. The. Duke of Marlborough was a great general who always commenced every battle with a fixed determination in his mind to win or lose. Magna Charta said that the King was not to order taxis without the consent of Parliament. Hogarth did many satirical works, including "The Rape's Progress." Milton wrote "Paradise Lost"; then his wife died and wrote "Para-i dise Regained." A morality play is a play in which the characters are goblins, gliosts ? virgins and other supernatural creatures. Keats believed in the immorality of Beauty. Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing. Q: What did Paul Revere say at the. end of his famous ride? A.: Whoa! ■ Q: What is the future of "He drinks?" A: "He is drunk." Henry VIII married Catherine of Aragon. He soon grew tired of her and divorced and beheaded her. He then married Anne Boleyn, and" beheaded her. He then married Anne of Cleves and beheaded her —and so on. Drake was playing bowls when he was told the invisible armada was. in sight Queen Elizabeth rode through Coventry with nothing on and Raleigh offered her his cloak.